Monday, April 16, 2007

i guess school days are just boring. plain boring. basically we only study and nothing else. i dunno wat i should do or should say to stop myself from hating school. but i finally found one thing. people who never grow up are often the ones who laugh alot. SILENCE is the way out. i hope im the one not growing up. i missed my laughter, the hyperactive ling. i miss YOU around me. because of you. i can hear my heart beating. but now, you are so far away from me. ever since, no one has ever give me the feeling like you. i cannot seem to hear my heart beat anymore. i miss secondary school. where all of us was like frog in the well. naive, happy, sad, lame, angry. all our feelings expressed out. but now, i can only hide and bury things in my heart. even im angry, i cant express out. im sad, i cant express out too. I FEEL LIKE A STONE. cause, even im sad, i can laugh and joke with people. when my tears has flow down a minute ago, i can smile at you this minute and pretend nothing has gone wrong, even my heart is aching. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME! i never use to do that. and now, im doing that almost everyday. y cant i be honest with my feelings? today. school. farking boring. tomorrow school. farking boring. the day aft tml. school. farking boring. i rather play 12 hours non stop bball without eating than going to school. if the time table is shorter. maybe my life will be happier. all i feel like i playing bball. bball. bball. if eunice can come out in the night play bball. perhaps she will see me everyday. but i today sort of pang seh her. so sorry eunice. and ailibaba. thanks for crashing NYP! i tink u really took time to come down. so thanks alot! i need to wake up in 8 hours more starting from now. and i still dun feel lik sleeping. tml schedule. buy books. return library books.maybe a round of bball. craving starting to swell up. i must surpress myself. i promised someone. CONTROL! LOW YILING, U CANNOT____________~`

to dos:
get my ass out of slacking and get some CCAs
do something i enjoyed doing
SILENCE-----------
meet more new friends
no more late for classes
a list of how im gonna spend my pay
STRICT AND QUIET-------
dramas
new friends new start for me
no more big gal in a small world

ybtmoml__jcwl

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