purple tears of the girl~

2009-11-09T23:19:00.007+08:00

Recently having a fetish with K POP!

Lemme introduce to you

4 MINUTES!

they rock my socks off and made me wanna go back to dancing again

Cool Ain It?

P.S Life isnt a melody accompanied by a ballerina

2009-10-31T13:29:00.002+08:00

Dota & Dota! I jus love to dota. LOLOL. now waiting for the lazy pig to wake up.

we got a bbq to attend u know!

Roars!~ he must have played dota till veh veh late yst.

Zzz. i have sho many things i want to do and all involve $$$

Gonna b broke broke broke. i need to find a job real quick!

Recently, im veh busy watching animal planet.

their stories really inspires me real lot.

yst was ailibaba's last day in O&O. missed her real damn soon T^T

i know im gonna miss lunching with her lo.

my life revolving ard work and im sitting here with no aim and whatsoever.

desperately need to find a good company that offers me a better pay with good pple ;)

life totally suck for me. how i wished i would go back to study days!

okok. gotta call lazy pig!

Aint she cute? she must have been one of the cutest things alive ;)

p.s i sho wanna get a tattoo ;)

2009-10-31T02:53:00.004+08:00

Testing Testing 123! My blog is ready. lalalalala~ long time no blog le. busy working ;DD spend me 2 hr doing it. LOLOL. neways went amk hub for a few shop shop and got a checkered shirt i liked alot ;) and a off shoulder type shirt, going to sleep, Ja-ku-son bdae tday. Gona doze off. Tatata~

p.s Must rmb to repair my omnia chui and prepare to get another new phone! yaahhwee!~

2009-05-15T02:17:00.004+08:00

just finished my rounds of dota a few hours ago. have been planning B's bdae =) it's

coming in a week time!! although we are together for 2 years le, it's the first time im

celebrating his bdae with him as his gf -.- cos last year we broke up a few months.

(but nevertheless i still got give him prezzies kies?) omg, have to scrimp and save for

his bdae le. payday's due only 1st june, so no more expensive prezzies for him =D

(yeah! save money ;X) well, i gave him RAZER LACHESIS last year kays, and it cost

me 119 bucks for that dota mouse. -.- it's also a day which i get to know him and we

fell for each other. =) some said they reckon our relationship will nt last, perhaps 2 to

3 months. but we are going steady for near to 2 years le. although with alot of ups

and down, 3rd party interfering in. but i can see it in his eyes, that he LOVES me ;D

(excluding my attps) there are places we longed to go, but he's still a student, so i

cant expect much from him, like paying for the dates all these. i dont care about

money, all i cared is that he is willing to accompany me to every corner in the earth

that i desired to be in.

well, i realised he taught me alot of things, taught me that maintaining a relationships

relys on mutual understanding, alot of giving in and not expecting a taking. while im

giving in to him, he too, is giving in to me. but sometimes our love is simple as a plain

water. no sweet messages, no hogging on the phone and talking for hours and hours.

but he say's it's due to we have been together for very long, we understands each

other. indeed he understands me alot more than i understand him.

we did a question and answer on each other that day while eating yong tau foo. this

is how it goes.

Me: okay, i ask a question about me and you answer, then later u ask me, okay?

Him: okay.

Me: What is my favourite drink?

Him: Ice lemon tea (correct)

Me: What is my favourite fastfood?

Him: KFC. DUH!(correct again!)

Me: what drinks do i liked to drink when i eat at LJS?

Him: Ice lemon tea (correct!)

Me: what drinks do i liked to drink when i eat at MOS?

Him: Ice milk tea (correct!)

Me: what drinks do i liked to drink when i eat at KFC?

Him: *rolls eyes* Ice lemon tea lah!! (correct!)

Me: what drinks do i liked to drink when i eat at sakae?

Him: ehh. the hot drink one, forget the name le. oh ya! hot green tea! (absolutely

correct!)

Him: see! i tell you i know you le. i ask you about me you sure wrong de.

Me: okok ask me.

Him: hmm. wait i tink. ehh. what is the job i dreamed of becoming?

Me: ehh. OH! a WCG dota player

Him: WRONG LAH! Pilot!! that time i tell you le u still dunno!

so even a twitch in my eyes and he knows what im thinking. sometimes being with a

person who knows exactly what you are planning is so boring. NO SURPRISES~

My DUA PIE KIA~ pardon me, cos i only have a few photos of him, he didnt liked to

take photos much cos he's vain =X he tinks he's ugly when he takes photos. (indeed

he is ugly ;X) but in my heart, he will be the one that has taught me the

most things. wanna spend his nineteenth birthday with him on 22May.

COUNT DOWN: 7 days

2009-05-13T00:15:00.011+08:00

我一直爱着过去爱着你

而我的泪就好像

雨从不会停

不想要再去压抑我的心

那些曾经我选择相信

FINALLY, a zellion years and i have finally finally found this song.

it's not the actual one but this is like way nicer than the actual one she's singing.

have been figuring how to use FACEBOOK =____='''

i know im WOLS but didnt really liked FB. (ehh. i meant facebook not foreign bodz)

working days has ended and i have revert back to the jobless holidays ;)

neway, im gonna get my pay only in 1st june T.T

peniless now! PLEASE DONT JIO ME OUT TO EXPENSIVE PLACES~ =)

to all the guys out there, dont ever make your girlfriend cry.

TH OL' DAZE

nobody believed i used to play bball.

nobody believed i used to look like a BOY.

nobody believed i used to look like a punk.

nobody believed i cut my hair so short and i still kinda missed it now.

SO IM GONNA SHOW U MY OL' PHOTOS!

a prove that i have, and i missed my spiked hair great deal!

Taken @ RGT grad ceremony.

i tot we will nvr see each other agn and we end up contacting each other till now :D

MY CLIQUES AKA AILIBABA, THE HEAD OF THE GANG ;X

dun play play or she can throw a table at your face ;XX

i tot we will be contacting each other but somehow we just didnt managed to keep in contact.

LOOK HOW PUNK AM I IN MY OL' DAYZ!

dont ask me what is mascara that time, cos i didnt even know what that then! -.-

ehh. prom day with ailibaba. and i dyed my hair brown with my hair spiked.

and im wear a dress! VOMITS A HUNDREDTH TIME~

i look like some guy in prom dress. LOLOL

MEOW AND ME. isnt she cute?!

my hair's gold and it matches with her. MUACKS HER X1000.

the hands -.- seem that i have been doing a great deal of bballing that time.

oh ya, i also trained at the gym. =D

we went back to RGT. and we have DIMPLES~ ;D

AWW, missed my fabulous spikes.

HAMTARO AND AILIBABA

i scanned the neoprints until my eyes pain.

THEY ARE SO SMALL~ @.@

eunice, ailibaba, me, and MJ.

SUPER URBER SMALL NEOPRINT! LOL

OMFG~! i liked this photo cos we looked retarded =)

im singing she dunno doing what.

mayb too mesmerized by my voices ;X

okay. cant wear the white pants anymore. it's dropping.

either i grow thinner (*SMILES*) or i wash till the pants expand (*SOBS*)

i remembered we took very long to figure how the machine works.

RETARD FACE, BUT NO PHOTOS LE. I DONT CAMWHORE~ LOL

if you noticed, i have a love shape on my cheeks! =) not many pple can do that heh~

MOST RECENT I CAN FIND.. LOOL. SPIKED TO EXTENSIONS.

GOLD HAIR TO BROWN HAIR.

SHORT TO LONG.

BERMUDAS TO SHORTS.

SLIPPERS TO HEELS.

NO MAKE UP TO MAKE UP.

NO NAIL COLOR TO BLACK NAILS.

I HAVE CHANGED ALOT INDEED..

2009-05-07T01:34:00.001+08:00

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't you baby

If I ain't got you baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you

2009-05-06T23:23:00.010+08:00

WHY CANT I SEE THE FACT THAT YOU DONT LOVE ME

ANYMORE? WHY CANT I? WHY CANT I?

working days, made me stressed and tired out.

i realised that, i just cant lie to customers jus to pump sales up

im not that type.

4 more days left and i will be outta this hell..

i dont wan to lie anymore.

cos i dont wanna pretend nothing's gone wrong

like a ballerina dancing the wrong steps.

but still she keeps a smile on her face.

cos i know the cold cruel truth that's within me.

YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE..

2009-04-29T00:40:00.002+08:00

sometimes i feel that our love is jus like rain in the rainy day. it comes and goes as it

wishes. our love, changed from simplicity love to sacastic and expect each another to

change kinda love. sometimes i feel tired, sad and so demoralised. i sometimes feel

that you expect too much from me that i feel like running away. this is the ferst time,

im actually scared of talking, cos im scared i'll make you mad agn by talking. im

scared im scared im scared..

2009-04-27T17:53:00.003+08:00

i have jus read an article, and it states that the world is coming to an end in december

12 2012 or rather year of 2012. scientist have already have some predictions that the

year is coming to an end. it kinda chill me out. makes me think that i have done

nothing in my life im proud of and im dying in 3 years time. ( although it's not cfmed,

but rather to believe it than dont ) but we cant blame anyone for the cause, only

blame on us destroying the earth's nature. what leads me to say this, if u have been

living in singapore, u should know that nowadays the weather is getting hotter and

hotter. ( global warming signs lah duh! ) is the world really coming into an end? it's

up to u to believe it or not.

i can only provide the web ---> http://www.msghelp.net/showthread.php?tid=74463

i was laughing as i see peeps reply on this thread.

but no matter wad, we must prepare for the worst.

and i wanna cherish every bit of him even if the world ends tomorrow =)

2009-04-27T12:07:00.008+08:00

long ago, i heard of a saying that i must admit it's sooo true.

every man wants to be a woman's first love and every woman wants to be a

man's last love..

sometimes, im so scared i'll say anything to make him angry, but often the words i

said makes him angry.

im so demoralised whenever he says that he feels im leaving him, i dont like him, i

dont love him, i dont treat him as my bf.

i guess i'll never have anything right now.

it's always wrong to do this and to do that.

i just hoped for a little date with him, maybe im asking for more.

that makes him feel that i dont like him cos he's poor.

i dont know how to be a good gf. i have never been anyone's gf before him.

our love, is now in a hibernating stage. we dont quarrel like it's the end of the world

and we dont have a flaming love like those newly coupled.

you said that a plain and simple love lasts longer than hot flaming love. a hot flaming

love comes fast and goes fast. while a plain and simple love usually is lasting.

okay, put the thots behind me! im lacking of money right now.

my aim is to shop till i drop @ JB de city square!!

till then~

My tasklist

rent my graduation attire

white formal collar shirt

a decent skirt

a job

money

bags bags bags

clothes clothes clothes

shorts shorts shorts

UPDATES: he msged me and we nearly quarrelled. but all well turns well! he's finally

having a date with me. YAHWEE~

2009-04-05T01:06:00.006+08:00

NYP DANCE CLUB, FBODZ

photo taken while we are going to perform in the open house

me and jeslin buddy in the open house ;D

the hobbit and dwarfey =)

I MISSED DANCING SO MUCH~

I MISSED DANCING @ FOREIGN BODIES SO MUCH.

I WANNA GET BACK TO THE DANCE STAGE.

IT'S WHERE I FEEL BELONGED..

DANCE TO EXPRESS, NOT TO IMPRESS

2009-04-02T12:09:00.006+08:00

LOVE

comes when you least expected it, and goes when you dont want it to happened.

it's not the love you cannot trust, but rather the heart of the person you cannot trust.

i guess your heart just does not see, the pain and hurt that you cause me.

what can i do to make things right?

what issit like to for you just care for me abit?

im also just an ordinary girl.

a girl who longs for dating, comforting and complaining.

im so totally wrecked out.

maybe im a failure girlfriend.

maybe im not understanding enuff sometimes.

maybe im gave you too many attps.

because of me,

you turned out to be like this.

strangely, im starting to miss the old you.

it's all my fault.

i drove the old you away..

2009-04-02T00:39:00.003+08:00

im like a nobody. and im sick of being a nobody. it's like everywhere i go im always

behind the screen. so invisible to everyone. and quite frankly, im sick of it. i wanna

run to somewhere where people could actually sees me, acknowledge my exsistence,

and just be myself. i feel so much likea bird in a cage, i dont know what the world is

like. but i do know one day, i'll get out of this cage. im so tied down i can hardly

breathe. some says i dont care about how they feel, but do you even care about how i

feels? im a human too. i have feelings too. so STFU about how you think i dont care,

cos you too, would even bothered to care about how i fuckingly feels and you wan me

to care about how YOU feel? jus because im invisible doesnt mean i dont have

feelings kay? since you want me to be liddat i'll show you what's that..

2009-03-31T01:52:00.013+08:00

im not dead yet, so CHILL peeps! havent been blogging lately but i'll update as soon

as possible

have been going out alot lately and havent have the time to blog about. it's just as

boring as ABC i guess.

i'll blog ferst with the CLEO's 50 MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR EVENT @ ZIRCA

which i attended ages ago~

meet up with alina @ lot 1 before we headed out to clark quey, we both were in a

WAY different dressing style, and i tot i was supposed to dress like her! luckily both

of us blended in nicely into ZIRCA ;D she was wearing a see thru overalls with a tank

top, black jeans and boots, i was wearing racerbacks with vest and a skinny. we

went over to the shopping centre near clark quey for a window shopping before

heading towards zirca. the toilets was sparkling clean and nice. hence we took

photos there ;)

LUNCH VIA DINNER TIME~!!!

went to eat ramen in the shopping centre and they serves pretty good ramen. the

ambience was nice too, but peeps was looking at us as if we were crazy tourist

wanting to snap a photo of everything hence we jus managed to snap a few and

gobbled up our ramens.

mine was spicy ramen and her's was soya sauce ramen. it's really good and it's worth

eating. DROOLS~

love the lights there too! ;DD

i wondered why the signboard writes "huo shan tou". anyway, after this, a japanese

woman came in with her 2 children and they ordered 3 ramens. not to be sua ku or

wad lahs. but it's kinda fascinating watching 2 children speaking fluent japanese like

the ones we watched in the anime. and then, i was telling alina that the "yu bing" with

a pink spiral design in the centre was called naruto =____='''

FINALLY! we lined up for ard 1 hour plus and finally get into zirca. the bouncer

working there was shuai also and me and alina peek abit at him =X he's way tall and i

doubt he can see me among the crowd at all. it's so crowded and

dark and peeps was squeezing me and my deary was messaging me telling me to be

careful not to let strangers touch or chi my toufu. in the end, i managed to chi dao 2

or 3 girls de toufu =_____='''

it's hot and geeky inside and several times, i nearly fall off the step because someone

was pushing me. and lemme tell you, when i set my eyes on bachelor #45, I NEARLY

DROOLED. he was WAY HAWT~ you know, i dont really goggled on guys but he's

really hawt.. VIVIAN DAWSON, not only me but half the girls under the stage nearly

fainted. some was like tigress trying to eat him up if he comes down the stage. the

bimbos on my right was like " OMG OMG HE SHOOOOOO HAWT, SHOO CUTE!!!"

and shouting as if they were despos for men. -.-

i googled on him, he was actually half a SINGAPOREAN?!?! i expected him to be like

totally not from sg. P.S YOU CANT FIND SGPOREANS SO SHUAI CAN.. mix sg and

new zealand

the centre one, vivian dawson. (vivian sounds like a girl -.- but nevermind ;D )

so tell me if he's not hot. HE IS TOTALLY HOT CAN. the kind of guy you would

dream of if you are a cinderella waiting for her prince. P.S and my deariie is so

JEALOUS over him. haas!

a little note of what i have bought lately, and it has burned a hole in my pockets.

1) adidas white jacket

2) nike graffiti shoulder bags

3) shorts

4) nail design painting with polka dots

5) see thru shirt with a purple flowered tanktop

6) boyfriend shirt

7) black pantyhose

8) heel cushion for the heels i couldnt fit in (and my leg is still too small to fit in. TMD~)

AND IM IN NEED OF CASH~!

working on today night..

okays! GONNA WATCH RATATOUILE. TILL THEN!~

2009-03-06T15:04:00.004+08:00

rants rants rants! i've got so much to rant about. you know how peeps pisses me off?

you found a new tube of slimming body scrub she was carrying, you thot it was yours, went back to the room and check, and found you body scrub left 1/4 when u only used it 4 times, the opening of the tube is not cleaned properly and you are sure you didnt make that as you have the habit of cleaning the tube properly.

she acts as if she knows you, comes to your side asking what you playing, what you eating, WHY you playing this game, WHY you eating this. you are fcukingly irritated as you two had never talked before, and she's acting like she is like she's your bestie ever.

she treats the cat with RAW fish meat, thinking that the cat is a cartoon cat and it's alright to eat raw fish.

she likes to act cute, carrying a winnie the pooh walking around (i have nothing against winnie the poohs though), when she is evidently NOT cute.

you suspect she uses ure make up, as you found her foundation on ure desk full of make ups in your room.

she stays in the house, playing with the big one, shouting screaming off her lungs when it's like midnight and your parents need to sleep.

ONE WORD : CHILDISH

another stuff i just have to rant about,

MY BOYFRIEND

he's totally in a dead sleep now, cant get him through the phone.
yesterday i remembered that i asked him to sleep EARLY today.
so that you can meet him up at 12 after his school, buy bacons, campbell chicken soup,and kangkongs to cook at his house.
nevertheless, he left me a msg :"dear i now at Jurong east le.. so tired , we postpone later. i sleep awhile, meet 3o'clock" LOOK AT THE TIME NOW, it's 3.3o.
called him, his mummy picked up and told me he's still sleeping.
i couldnt be understanding as yesterday at 1.30am he msged me told me he's still at lan,
no bus go back home so he mayb taking a cabby. i told him you still have school tml faster go home. and at 6am plus i received another msg saying that he havent sleep till now. 5 hours apart, it's adaquate enuff for him to WALK back and forth from home to the LAN shop like 5 times.

what is he doing in the 5 hours? needless to say, PLAYING DOTA.

2009-03-06T04:20:00.005+08:00

4.20 am now and i have sucessfully finish the blogskins with the amendments of the cursor and stuffs. it's understandable but nevertheless needed me like 4 hours to work in front of the com non stop. my new blog requires a very big font, or else it'll appear like tiny ants. LOL -.-

shall update my blog, keep it as a ranting ground for me. it's like midnight and im craving for pasta from marche` @ vivo. omg~ they serve really nice food over there ;D DROOLS~

i have jus realised that, i need to sleep le.
but i have some things to rant about. maybe on the next post.

TILL THEN (;

2008-11-27T00:30:00.002+08:00

in the past, i always dream, of how my boyfriend would look like, how sweet we will be, how we would go movies and sing K like any other normal couples, the normal days, i will be watching my dream guy playing basketball, and how i would sit beside the bench and watch. i used to dream abt how my bf will look and how broad his shoulders were, how lean he was, how disgusting i would feel if he has muscles. and how good he was if he was elvin ng x3. but in reality, things usually turn out differently. it appears the more you dreamed, the more things turn out differently.thru all the hurts u have bought me, thru all the pains i painsaking when thru and i almost died living a life w/o you. how i used to only sleep 2 hrs jus to get up to meet u early in the morning almost everyday.

my life is jus like the lyrics apologise.
********************************************
im holding on ure rope got me 10 feet off the ground, im hearing wad you saying but i jus cant make a sound.
you tell me that you need me then u go and cut me down

and now, i dare not dream anymore. i dare not dream of how you would change becos of me.
cos i dare not dreamed of being the special me.
im jus a bypasser among the crowds of pple with no particular direction, hope and my world doesnt shine like others.
the colours of my world are full of purple and black. it doesnt look pink neither it look bright.
the smile im so used to put on, when my friends are ard, doesnt make me glow at all.
deep in my heart, i trying so hard stopping my heart from bleeding.
you may call me a fool, cos i shld live for myself. but i would rather use my last bit of strength to walk as long as i could with u.
i dont know how much more u still want me to change.
i nvr look perfect in your eyes, neither will i be in the future.
im jus holding onto ure rope, hoping that it would not snap.

P.S pple are selfish. they cant seem to understand there's no shortcut way to heaven. they cant seem to understand that the only shortcut is by stepping onto pple to reach the heaven. IM THE FELLA THAT IS BEING STEPPED. im the one with grumbles and sleepless nights that my eyes going to be so zombilish. i desperately need to sleep. 1 day, i really would throw everything aside and be irresponsible. my smiles to u doesnt mean u can step on me agn and agn. tink twice b4 u do that. i have my limits too. so change before i snapped at u.

2008-08-11T01:25:00.003+08:00

TO: The person that stole my heartbeat,

i want time to stop.
i want quarrels to stop.
i want us to remain in this way.
cos u took my heart away, since then, my heart has lived becos u are here.

it's a long way we have been since we started out.
we have been thru a big circle, and this time, i know we're right for each other =)

attachment has made me real busy.
$$$ please drop from sky.
i need money to do so many stuffs.
i need clothes, shorts, slimming pills, prezzie which i promsed someone, crumpler bags, fix laptop, extensions&highlight&dye and C902, perhaps itouch?
OMG!!
i desperately need money.
$.$

2008-07-25T00:17:00.002+08:00

humans, are always unhappy of what they have. when they lose it, then they'll cherish it.
today was a so called happy day bahs.
went to work, and recent i realised i was on a splurging spree.
i had the urge to spend every single $$$ i have with me.
i wan clothes!
nice nice clothes that i can wear and look nice in wearing!
roars!
TRIPLE HAPPINESS IN MY DEPT!
Mr chin my boss's wife jus gave birth to a baby gal.
Mr lim my 2nd boss's wife gave birth to a baby boy.
Mr ong my 3rd boos is getting married in oct.

lols. i remember the first day in my attachment,
my dept only got 3 of them, now it has grown to 9 including me =)
im starting to feel for attachment and i dun really wanna end it.
hmms.
but i desperately need holidays.
and i have to find a proper part time job to do.

today a guy ask me whether im interested in telemarketing job he offered to me.
$10 PER HR!!!
OMG. i regretted having reject him O.O
cos i was to busy looking for someone. T.T
OMG! nvm. i dun wanna be scolded by pple inside the phone.
better not work this kindda job xDD

LOVES~ MY SONY ERICSSON C902. HERE I COME~

and gal,
i feel so inferior compared to u,
although i may not win u but i'll try my very best.
cos he's the one i knew i liked all the time.
i'll try my very best to win him.
all i wan to do is find a way back into LOVE~

2008-07-13T16:59:00.004+08:00

i always held on.
no matter wad pple says.
but now, i have to give u up.
cos u hurt my heart so much that i dont know how to keep loving u.
cos im so hurt that im scared im being hurt again.
im so scared that i cant go on living my life without u.
im hurt.
throughly hurt by u.
and u know u left a scar so deep inside my heart it wouldnt stop bleeding.

can anyone gimme a hug and tell me i'll be fine and live my life strong?
i really need a hug now..
i feel i dont have the strength to carry on anymore..
im tired, really tired and full of scars.

2008-06-22T17:03:00.002+08:00

it's so tired being me.
i have learnt to give up.
i have learnt to submit to fate.
i have learnt to be strong.
i have learnt to be different.
i have learnt to bear with all the hurt and pain.

i..
i have..
i have changed..

2008-06-07T19:50:00.003+08:00

u know wad?
i feel so much like ruining myself..
i feel like running away from the pain.
i feel like running away from everything.
i feel like clubbing and drinking beer non stop.

i jus wanna ruin myself.
i wanna rebel.
it so hard being good.
i loved u.
but u hurt me so badly tat i cant go bak to the old me.

guys are fickle minded.
they only know how to lie.
i learn not to trust guys, i learn not to believe in everything.
i learn to let go..

pls, let me die faster.
i see no point in me living..

2008-05-21T23:40:00.002+08:00

im bak to blogging after 1 decade le xDD
and i have decided to continue blogging =)
im so freaking tired of my love life, so im not gonna blog abt it.
but i can tell u, it's in a mess now.
so im gonna blog abt studies xD
4 more days to my work attachement.
and im being attached to TUAS.
OHMIFREAKIINGGAWD!!
it's like the very far end of tuas. THE RECLAIMED LAND.
ROARS~
lucky i get a pay of $500
or im gonna so freaking kill and murder GSK.
FYI, i have been attached to GSK. some of you might know abt tis company.
it's working on medical stuffs.
actually wanna dota,
terrence jus pangsehs me lahs.
im so freaking gonna kill him once i see him tml.
and he looks like he didnt wanna talk.
WHY WORS?
WAD HAPPENED?

2008-04-02T00:55:00.002+08:00

SAY GOODBYES TO:

The shimano orange bike
Diamond heart guy
The old eileen
The vadalised window panel
My 2 precious hamster, baby and bb
Limbang lan shop
The fat, black haired eileen
Auntie's cooking
Emo clan members
Tech whye lane
The baiichii dear
The scar u left on my leg
Maple story Xiaowangzii
Eeyore and tofu pillows i used to hug
His friends

LASTLY, OUR MEMORIES, OUR LOVE

im gonna change myself, i hate being me. i hate the scar u left on my leg, so im gonna tattoo it away, i hate my hair u used to smell. i hate my arms u used to grab. i hate my hands u used to hold. i hate my body u used to hug, i hate my face u used to kiss, so changing my appearance is he only thing i can do so that i dun hate myself that much

2008-04-02T00:30:00.003+08:00

im back to clean my really dusty blog =)

well, if u wanna know my current condition, i have jus broke up =(
kinda saddening, but i think somethings are jus like tat. even though tis is the last thing on earth i would wan it to happened, i guess i jus cant be the right gal for him bahs. may it's becos im too ugly, or maybe it becos im too fat. hmms, nvm. i dun need love. it's something tat humans will turn scary. out of jealousy, hatred and i dun deny i have a deep rooted hatred for him, for being so cruel to me. but im gonna cope over it. dun worry xD i have being reading the web about alot of stuffs regarding heartbroken relationships and how to cope with break-ups and it really works. 2 days ago, im still crying, like it's the end of the world. to be frank, i have this heart wrenching pain i never had b4 and i never knew i can lost appetite to my all time favourite KFC, even though i didnt wanna eat, i thought i will feel better eating KFC, but it jus proved me wrong. i know things gonna turn well, but i guess it's gonna take me a longer time than others. and now i still miss him, i do. but the heart wrenching pain is fading, i can feel it, becos i finally woke up, i always wanted to patch things up and i have imagine he'll come looking for me or something, but the first step to cooping with break ups is: NEVER GIVE URE SELF ANY FALSE HOPE. then u'll learn to crawl up. i realised. LOVE is like a border. throught thick and thin lines, the ends are met, but some borders can never meet, jus like LOVE. 1 word. NOT FATED.im cooping with break up and i am comforting benjamin, tell him we'll go thru this tgt. no wonder we are jie mei. break up also break tgt. hmms. at least he's happier than me. i jus feel happy tat he's feeling fine now. as for me, im fine. but the scars in my heart, it can never be removed. i dun wanna step into another relationship. not in 1 year not in 2 year. i rather die then to face the heart wrenching pain. it too scary. i have been acting strange lately. like i suddenly have the urge to cry from dunno where. wth. i can suddenly feel like crying while i was on the net look at the part of machine sorts, THERE"S NO LINK I WILL CRY MAHS. if i hear sad song emo or i saw something reminded me of him i cry i still okay mahs. abit wrong with me. I WAS CRYING WHILE LOOKING AT METAL FRAME FOR MY MACHINE PROJECT. it's totally no link.

heaven heaven heaven, pls, stop my heart from hurting.

and boy, you left your footprints on my heart

2007-09-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

im sorry for the attitude i had. hmms. i tink it's time to jus let me cool down. im sorry for being selfish but i really really cannot take it.wad if u were to see the photo of me kissing my ex in the cheek?i will drive u crazy right?hmms. im sorry for all those stuffs. i tink i will concentrate more on my dance these weeks.im sorry to have made u worry.i will never gonna be good enuff for u.but wadever happens, i still love uu...

2007-09-15T11:07:00.000+08:00

i have been lik a fool, didnt i? i tot i would be the special one among so many girlfrenes u had. i had been a fool to tink im special right? i had a surprise present today. a present i would not receive. i was browsing thru the bookshelf for storybooks and a red color box caught my eye. it's so ordinary tat i didnt notice. so ordinary. i became curious and started opening the box. i found somethings i rather not find out. the letters rachel wrote for u. the cards gina made for u. and thru the letters i know shelia cos i tink in the letter rachel tink shelia is a bitch bahhs. tink tat time shelia already lik u already. hmms. my life is revolved ard 3 gals. not u. i know i shouldnt be so jealous and so sad. i always remind myself of wad yan ping said. IF A BF KEEPS WADEVER HIS EX-STEAD GAVE HIM, THIS PROVES TAT HE CHERISH HIS PAST, HENCE HE WILL CHERISH HIS FUTURE STEAD TOO. but sadly to say, i really cant take it bahhs. i cant do totally wad yan ping said. i just cant. i realised im jus another 1 of his stead. im so alike with the girlfrenes u had. how we fold the letters. the box. the words we use. together forever and ever. i guess i will be fine after some crying and stuffs bahhs. maybe i shld jus let go everything. even u had to go out ton, smoke alot and stuffs. i will just pretend i did not see it, did not hear it and did not talk abt it. i took the letters i wrote away already le. im gonna throw it away le. SO LET'S FORGET ABT IT.

stupidhead eve, i miss u so badly.

2007-09-07T03:09:00.001+08:00

you know wad i feel like now?

i feel like crying...

2007-09-05T01:37:00.000+08:00

我的骄傲表情

都是因为你疼爱我像超级巨

从现在给了爱快乐气息

一种想爱声音那是不顾一切的决定

而你给我的不只是鼓励

爱已渐渐占据

我的心

呼吸爱的勇气

不管呼啸的雨

让爱不由自主奔向你

带着自信回应

抛掉犹豫和你零距离

呼吸爱的氧气

有种爱的肯定

都是因为有你

我踮起脚尖亲吻了你

快握紧我的手

爱情爱情

降临两颗心

我的骄傲表情都是因为你疼爱我像超级巨星~ deariie im thankful tat u are by myside

2007-09-02T03:43:00.000+08:00

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

as a result, those who u befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

ohh.. i wan this to be so true! ^^V

2007-07-19T16:36:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

weeweets~ DID U SEE THAT. ROY LEE JIAN MING?

my risk of cheating is almost zero.

and i would never break a commitment.

hmms.. true that i feeling self- centred now.

back

blogging=D

2007-06-25T01:56:00.000+08:00

okay. i changed my blog de address liao. if u happened to see this blog. u mus be damn lucky. cos this add i have not told anyone. not even a single soul. guess all readers reading my blog mus be a stranger. if u happened to pass by my blog, please tag me. i jus wanna know. to all peeps out there, how did u manage to balance between ure relationship and friendship? i know i mus be stupid to tink this way. but i have no choice. the more i step closer to a relationship. the further my friends seemed to be. i really really very lost now. i guess this blog should be my personal dairy le. cos no one will even enter here. cos i didnt even told anyone about this add. hmms. AILIBABA although u may not read my blog cos i didnt even told u abt the add. jus wanna tell uu. dun always stand in ure point of opinion. if u were to have a boyfrene and u have to balance between ure boyfrene and frienship. u would know how tough it is. uu didnt even know how sad am i for u to critize me till this way. i told uu i really didnt mean it. if u were first time in a relationship and just started a relationship and uu can still balance uer time between friendship and relationship. the only thing i can thing of is U DUN ACTUALLY LIKE THE GUY U ARE STEADING WITH. dun talk abt it anymore. let uu tink wadever ways u wan to. talk wadever uu wan to.

2007-05-31T03:32:00.000+08:00

all those talking. messaging. holding hands. are we considered couple? im very miserable. although i liked the feeling of us. but u are never meant to be mine. u never told me about ure past. IM SO INSECURED. time can tell everything. but would our relationship withstand the damage time has given us? the more i know uu, the more insecured i gets. the stronger my feelings gets, the stronger my doubts for this relationship. im so random. should i take a step forward or take a step backwards? we are like couple, yet we are not. but i know we mus cherish now before it's gone. CHERISH=) throw the doubts away. confusion away. and cherish each other. AGE DOENT MATTER=) as long as we cherish each other this minute. OMG. he jus asked me to call him if im awake now. it's like 4.36am now. wadd could he wann from me? dun tell me he's asking me for... NONONO. should i call him? he's asking me for a date? OMG. NOT TOMMORROW. wait. tml is friday right? haha. IM NOT FREE. yeah=) i tink im the only one who is so happy that im not free for a date.

说爱我在我的耳边对我说

我已经真的太久忘了这种心

动爱太难了解了

我们还看不懂

那一些心酸快乐有多少还很真呢

说爱我用你的手心温暖我

就算你不能证明爱我能爱多久

我知道你想躲

我要的并不多

一起看天空好吗最后一分钟

好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人**`~

2007-05-30T02:25:00.000+08:00

there's something i have been wondering. ARE WE CONSIDERED COUPLE? we are not offically couple, but we act like one. messages and holding hands. so are we couple? we are in between friends and lovers bahh. shortiie zhuu. i actually liked the way we are now. perhaps after we are together, things will change bahh. so let's jus remain like this for a moment. please. dun ever ask me to stead with uu. because i wont know wat to say. YES! im afraid of commitment. im afraid of breaking the bond we have now. today we have offically hold hands larrx. although it's for only 5 sec then i brushed his hand away because im ANGRY!! with the pam. okaies. considered jealous larrx. they were like playing as if im INVISIBLE. she obviously knows abt me and shortiie zhuu, but she seems to LIKE playing with shortiie zhuu. OMG man. YES IM JEALOUS. haixx. but when he came to meet me to explain things. im touched=) real touched. yesterday he grab my hand and hook on his arm. today we lock our fingers while holding hands. WHAT'S TOMMOROW!!! but i really liked the way we are now. i dunn wanna break any bond. but we shouldnt be doing this. we are not offically stead. i wanna jus lie on his shoulder and fall asleep. but i cant. he's not mine. i have a hunch everythiing is gonna end soon. so CHERISH! before it's gone!

2007-05-28T10:37:00.000+08:00

many things happen ever since i last blogged. i fell into a black hole. a hole im not certain i can come out or not. he's kind, sweet, thoughtful, caring. but i tink we are not compatible. im not prepared for a relationship. so it's considered that currently we are in between friends and lovers. deep in my heart. i know our sweetness will end. the sweetest moment has just started. and im afraid that it will end. someday maybe we will pass each other like strangers. his purple w.w.j.d i wore on his wrist, became something that prove that we both exist. im still unclear of our relationship, so time will tell everything. whether we are meant for each other. ure messages. i missed it. your smiles and your stares. i love it. but there's something blocking us apart. AGE. i just cant ignore the fact that im older than you. that we arent meant to be together. well, i guess, opposite do attracts. the more incompatible the two is, the more they will attract each other. but if i can choose, i would like to stay 16. so that u are older than me=) we are under alot of stress. u and me. but i really hope that we both can last and are true to each other. i can already shout out.***I LOVE SHORTIIE ZHUU=) MISS YOU LOTS.**`~

超过了友情还不到爱情

暧昧让人变得贪心**直到等待失去意义**无奈我和你写不出结局*`~

2007-05-09T00:25:00.000+08:00

im sad. very sad. although i tried to tink i shouldnt be sad over these thing but, im still sad. LOVING YOU SO MUCH. these 4 words has cut a wound on my heart. i should be happy. abt me getting in auditions and stuffs. but a splitting pain has just entered my heart which i cant sleep no matter how tired i am. no matter how happy i should have feel, IM SAD.VERY. SAD TO THE EXTREME. an hour ago, im still happy about me getting into foreign bodies. my wish to learn dancing. but now, im crying. dun ask me why. i dunno how to say. i can only tell u one thing. im hurt. it hurts badly.
crying while typing haha

2007-05-01T19:08:00.000+08:00

okay. tml my most important day in eileen's 18 year old life. my audition result. i dont know y. althought i know that my chances of getting in is like 0.0000001% or even lesser. at least i tried. i really want to get to foreign bodies. im so in love with hip-hop dancing. no matter wad, lucks to my dance audition.

DANCE TO EXPRESS.NOT DANCE TO IMPRESS.

this few word are written behind the foreign bodies club t-shirt. which i find it quite meaningful. no matter wad, i will remember these words 4 eva.

2007-04-26T02:09:00.000+08:00

im here to blog. it's 2.10am now and i have just finished my audition in less than 4 hours. well, i began to fall for dancing. im so addicted to hip-hop now. haha. but guessed i didnt do quite well for my audition cos im NERVOUS. my legs was like wobbly and stuffs. i forgotten abit of move but i managed to hold on. it's up to heaven to decide my fate i guessed. but nevertheless i did learned a few steps. considered a gain to me. i realised something practical about the world. some pple just try to get means and ways to get something they want, neglecting their friends often. even if it cost ure friend unable to get wat they wan, they dun mind sacrificing their friends for their own farking sake. to me, able to learn dancing is considered a honour to me. but i not quite happy cos i nearly saw my friend's tears. farkers like selfish pple only noe how to leave their friend far at the bak and even if they know how to do certain things, they wont share it. cos they are afraid their friend will exceed them. snatching their opportunity away. when the whole thing has ended, they try to defend themselves. YEAH RIGHT. i used to tink im the worst person on earth. i guessed there's someone who is even more worst than me. THICK SKINS like them act as if they are pros. JUST BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW TO DANCE PRETTY WELL. they think that only pros can be with them. yeah right. for those beginers, THROW IT DOWN THE TRASH. that's wat they think. then when u need bak the trash, go to the bin and pick it up again. FARKERS using my friend like mad... and i dun like it. except for this, i guessed my DA ends quite happily even i noe i cant get in.
imissedyoulikecrazyevenmorethanwordscansay.

2007-04-16T23:09:00.000+08:00

i guess school days are just boring. plain boring. basically we only study and nothing else. i dunno wat i should do or should say to stop myself from hating school. but i finally found one thing. people who never grow up are often the ones who laugh alot. SILENCE is the way out. i hope im the one not growing up. i missed my laughter, the hyperactive ling. i miss YOU around me. because of you. i can hear my heart beating. but now, you are so far away from me. ever since, no one has ever give me the feeling like you. i cannot seem to hear my heart beat anymore. i miss secondary school. where all of us was like frog in the well. naive, happy, sad, lame, angry. all our feelings expressed out. but now, i can only hide and bury things in my heart. even im angry, i cant express out. im sad, i cant express out too. I FEEL LIKE A STONE. cause, even im sad, i can laugh and joke with people. when my tears has flow down a minute ago, i can smile at you this minute and pretend nothing has gone wrong, even my heart is aching. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME! i never use to do that. and now, im doing that almost everyday. y cant i be honest with my feelings? today. school. farking boring. tomorrow school. farking boring. the day aft tml. school. farking boring. i rather play 12 hours non stop bball without eating than going to school. if the time table is shorter. maybe my life will be happier. all i feel like i playing bball. bball. bball. if eunice can come out in the night play bball. perhaps she will see me everyday. but i today sort of pang seh her. so sorry eunice. and ailibaba. thanks for crashing NYP! i tink u really took time to come down. so thanks alot! i need to wake up in 8 hours more starting from now. and i still dun feel lik sleeping. tml schedule. buy books. return library books.maybe a round of bball. craving starting to swell up. i must surpress myself. i promised someone. CONTROL! LOW YILING, U CANNOT____________~`

to dos:
get my ass out of slacking and get some CCAs
do something i enjoyed doing
SILENCE-----------
meet more new friends
no more late for classes
a list of how im gonna spend my pay
STRICT AND QUIET-------
dramas
new friends new start for me
no more big gal in a small world

ybtmoml__jcwl

2007-04-03T19:07:00.000+08:00

okay. some photos randomly from my trips. MY NIECE IS SO CUTE! wahaha. my trip was like hell. because little shopping was done due to the reasons theoldies dun like to go shopping centre. but well, i did buy something real nice and i like it! wahaha. at least i bought something. to tell u frankly. I WOULD NVR GO ON A TRIP WITH OLDIES AGAIN! argh! they irritate me to the extreme. at least my niece was there to acc me. wahaha. she is soo cute! during the night at hotel, didnt get much sleep due to the condition there. SUCKS. came back with bumps and lumps over my body due to mosquitos bite. i sleep for like 14 hours after i got back to singapore. i guess i learn a lesson=)

my niece=)

at the hotel room

OMGOSH! im acting cute

she acting cute too!

i never thought my niece could be a photographer. she asked me to do this pose

the hanky looked like some demon face. wahaha. im not the one who did that.

2007-03-31T00:39:00.000+08:00

2007-03-26T01:43:00.000+08:00

customer today. weird. i've got so many EXTREME customer that i dunno how to start with. from breastfeeding customer to pple who tink all-worker-knows-how-to-speak-all-languages customer. yeah. maybe i should start taking hand signals course and pretend im deaf. i should wear sunglasses over myself to pretend im blind. ya. whatever. anyway, i saw a purple adidas bag. to be exact, it is blue-ish purple. damn. it's nice. im so addicted to it. NOBODY"S GONNA STOP ME FROM BUYING THAT. frankly. i loved the bag soooo much. i nearly cried when someone nearly took the bag away. u may ask. y didnt i take the bag. IM WORKING. dun expect me to walk past my supervisor and head downstairs and pretend im a customer. okay. EILEEN. calm down. stop thinking abt the bag being taken by others. it's 1.52am in the mids. im gonna take a good rest wake up in the morning and off for the bag. mother's birthday tomorrow. strangely. i felt nothing. i tot at least im gonna be sad for saying all those words i've said and regret and even msg her telling im sorry for that. i just didnt mean to say that. really. these action have been predicted by me and i thought i would do it. but NO. till now. all i tink is u deserve it. i wan my disc back. i want the bball out of my room. it's making me mad see it. haha. guess i really have SOLIDIFIED my heart. i guess im not suitable to be ure friend. u make me so PISSED OFF by the actions u didnt even knew u did it. if u were to measure my PISS OFF-NESS(if there's such word!) it will be 75%. i have to admit, my mood did turn bad during the quarrel, but when the whole thing ended with a full stop. my heart is as calm as nothing has ever happened b4. i guess u nvr did enter my heart that deep these years. okay. i cant admit it is partly my fault that our friendship ended, i never told u my feelings b4. because somehow, i never did trust u. haha. 12 more hours then i can get the bag! yahoo! haha. hmm. how am i gonna tell michael im quitting the job? 2nd year is coming, my result is worst than ever. can get me anywhere if i keep slacking, late for lessons almost EVERYDAY. even exams. sleep in class. talking in class. decorate my notebook when it is note taking time. and worst. i jus skipped lessons for bball. HEY! that's important. but bball is more important! so i tink i jus carry on with the skipping lesson for bball thing. and heys jie mei, im sorry for not attending our gathering yesterday. i promise i will make my best to attend our nxt gathering=) and im gonna give hell to the johnathan. he totally sucks to the core. jus because he can shoot doesnt mean he is the best player and he likes to act like one. and his sister. yucks! haha. okay time for my wishlist making=)

wish list

=======================

shirts for poly and jeans for poly
adidas purple bag
a school bag
ladies shoes
h. slippers
converse sneakers
eyeliner and lipgloss
painted fingernail
rings and earrings
more going out clothes
new notebook?
designs for my note book
please timetable. dun be too long. dun be too early.
new haircut
meet new friends
a room makeover
wardrobe makeover
pesonality makover
bball. play well!
stop my brother snoring and get him out of my bed now because i wanna sleep!

my second brother has a problem with dealing with EQ. he cant seem to see pple are in the verge of dire straits and need a sleep immediately. he jus fall on pple's bed and knock off. where im gonna sleep then. the living? nah. i need at least 2 big pillow. a extreme soft one and a average hardness pillow. a mini pillow. a bolster. a blanket. a big mashi maro beside me. and of course. an enclosed place. i doesnt matter to me even if i suffocate inside my bedroom. i never had the habit of opening windows and doors. i keep them closed. because it keeps me safe. i wondered how does a age 20 bike rider smoker went to his sister's room just knock off his sister bed IMMEDIATELY. i bet there is a big dinosaur in his room and will eat him if he enters and with no choice, came crawling into my room to sleep. or maybe i've suddenly learn the magic of invisible and he thought he will just REST for a while at his sister's bed since im not in and in the end fall asleep? yeah right. sleeping beauty. get the hell out of my bed before i smack u in the ass. his position is damn funny. too bad i cant take his photos. they say u cannot take pple's photo when they are asleep. he has his hands behind his backs posing like a person trying to act as a rooster. okay going for another round off black coffee. if he still didnt get up after that. im gonna smack that hairy legs sleeping beauty. haha. see ya=)

爱像地心引力无法抗拒..一寸一寸深深的被你吸引..心碎也没关系等待也都愿意..人群之中我只能看见你..爱像地心引力没有空隙..一天一天不见你也在想你..我在你的眼里重新认识自己..

*在你面前原来微笑那么容易*

2007-03-22T03:26:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad happened to the damn com. it jus hang while i was blogging. damn. have to restart everthing over again. okay. today. HELL DAY. i wanted to dress up myself to go back to regent sec sch. my intentions: to shock mdm poh so that i smack poo on her face. well. i finally dressed myself up, but dunno why, i keep adding myself with more acessories. the heeled shoes, belt, make up, dangling earings all these. too bad, the first person i shocked was eunice. haha=) but i did shock mdm poh, which is why i intended to go there. met quite alot of teachers. of course, mr kamar too=) he grew fatter! hmm. wondering where the running during soccer training goes to. i tink he's been slacking around. LAZY TEACHER=) haha. ms lai, she grew thinner. haha. quite shocked to see her so thin. after that, me ailibaba, eunice, went for interview for a job which the rules was farking lame. then went causeway to take neoprints. ive been longing for the neoprint cause in one of the skins, there are this skin that can create the effect of you climbing out of the television. too bad, the skins are choose randomly and we didnt get that skin. grab a bite @ KFC. I LOVE IT=) and eunice went home and me and ailibabacwent for a chit chat. so, why was my day a hell day? cos my heels are causing me to have blister. dammit. haha. uploaded some photos of my PAST AND PRESENT.

today's photo

i look like im naked, but im WEARING SPAGHETTI TOP!

the old me and ailibaba

the past. RETARDS=)

today's buddy shot=)

i noticed ive change alot. compare the past and the present me. haha. i guess pple do change. cant expect me to stay 16 forever. haha=) but for wat ive known. im not the old me anymore. im glad that im changing for the better. glad that me and ailibaba are changing for the better=)

2007-03-20T23:34:00.000+08:00

okay. today im gonna upload some photos. photos which i took. they are all in negative form. i dunno why. but i have the tendency to take photos in negative forms. i liked photos in negative forms. haha=)

gosh. i dun even know where i took it

the water on the streets

guess wad. macdonald @ limbang

my stationery revising for exams

lecture theatre. looks scary

the bookmark with a kitty head

blk 788? tink so.

bus stop. oh gosh! it's purple and i like it=)

call me crazy if u want. the pictures in the negative are often colors that cannot be seen under the naked eye. the shades. everything. a normal bus stop could be as beautiful with colors. if i didnt use a negative to take the photo, i wont know that under the certain light and color, the bus stop could be purple. i believe negative also reflects on human. a happy-go-lucky woman may even hide her sadness in laughter. i believe every human has 2 sides. whether u show the colorful and beautiful side of u or u choose to show the dull, quiet side of u. just like the negative photos. either ure world is full of colours or u prefer the plain and dull. if i were to give u 2 photos to choose, would u prefer the colorful side or the dull side?

P.S it's up to u to decide which is colorful=)
and i prefer negative moreXD

2007-03-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

whatever. whatever. whatever. im just standing in the area within the circle where pple pass and go my life. i shouldnt rely on just one person. im gonna make my heart metal solid. no one can enter. NO ONE. i should have known better that friends moves on and go. whereas for me. im standing in the same place. IT REALLY TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON. GROW UP MAN EILEEN. your friends will not be upset just because they lose you. but for u, it a different case. i really should hang out more with my NYP friends. i shouldnt just keep myself isolated in an island. maybe i can smile and pretend nothing has gone wrong even my heart hurts. even when im sad. but i will try to remember one thing, friends comes and goes. dun put ure whole heart to it. the only true friend i have is MYSELF. nothing more than that.

解脱是肯承认这是个错

我不应该还不放手

你有自由走

我有自由好好过

解脱是懂擦干泪看以后

找个新方向往前走

这世界辽阔

我总会实现一个梦

Everybody’s got something, they had to leave behind.

One regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time.

There’s no use looking back, or wondering.

How it could be now, or might have been,

2007-03-13T18:48:00.000+08:00

im back from playing bball, wet, drenched, with a tinge of sadness in me. i met my buddy yesterday. to be exact is today 0030am. deep in my heart, i knew after we've met and went back home, we wouldnt be contacting each other again. he say he is trying to gain back our friendship. but i tink otherwise. i dun tink we will be contacting each other after we go home. so we spend 6 hours talking and playing. at least, our last meeting will end with laughter and happiness. truly enough, it all ends up well. well, i slept till 2 in the afternoon. strangely, i never woke up so early b4. though i play ball at around 4.30pm, i dun even have the force to play. jus feel ike sitting there and go through wat i've done in life.

回忆在从前相信

未来是完美的恋

我不会哭继续微笑

选择把对你的爱寄向远方

决定说再见

今天将会是最后一天

过去不是永远明天醒来

最初的期待

我最真的爱

超过了友情还不到爱情

2007-03-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

i know u are using me. u are only using me. but im glad that actually im worth that using. off to the park! P.S it's so terrible to lie!!!!

2007-03-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

i cant understand. y mus pple treat u so good in a minute then be cold to u in a sec? haha. i tink im feeling again. someone who touches my heart jus by smiling and making funny faces at me. someone whom plays bball with u. someone who looks at ure feet when u told him it's painful. someone who asked u whether u are playing bball @7 and say he is playing bball at 7. the someone is u. im always wondering, can pple gives u the same feeling that special ones gave u? ahlah. jus crapping. my thoughts are EMOTIONAL now. so wondering whether i can throw all the past behind and find a new path for myself.

我终于还是说了一句我爱你

还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨

心跳的声音像舞动奇迹

你看着我说千万不要爱上你

因为你只会让我伤心别傻了快点喊停

你那么冷静忽远又忽近

我知道我对你来说也许太年轻

我想我猜我问我终于了解

原来为爱流的眼泪也是种甜蜜滋味

只想爱你当我和你走在一起就已经决定

不看不听不问也不会放弃

是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定

只想爱你好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你

我知道我偶尔有一点任性

不管你做任何决定究竟爱我还是逃避

sorry我还是不会放弃爱你

为什么你会给我和他一样的感觉?但是有时候又对我不理不睬...

2007-03-12T01:34:00.000+08:00

I'm afraid I'm starting to feel, What I said I would not do. That last time really hurt me. I'm scared to fall in love, Afraid to love so fast. 'cause every time I fall in love It seems to never last.
But every time your love is near And every time I'm filled with fear. 'Cause everytime I see your face My heart does begin to race, every time.
One half wants to me to go, Other half wants me to stay. I just get so all confused I'm scared to fall in love, Afraid to love so fast. 'cause every time I fall in love It seems to never last.

2007-03-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

hmm. im back from work. damn tired. today's another hell day. i'll conclude some weird customer i've seen today.
CUSTOMER 1: im not very sure about that, but does chanel sell muslim head scarf? cos i went for work and saw this muslim wearing a chanel head scarf! argh! i nearly jus bang myself to bleed by thinking" DOES CHANEL SELL HEAD SCARF!?!?".
CUSTOMER 2: i tink this customer jus gone bonkers. i've told him like a million times that THERE IS NO SIZE 39! he wanted the orange one, and the orange size 39 is out of stock. he keep asking me to find the size 39. i TOLD HIM PATIENTLY, "MR, THERE IS NO SIZE 39" and i walked away. few minutes later, he came chasing aft me with staring eyes, "I THOUGHT U SAY NO SIZE 39, LOOK WAT I'VE FOUND" indeed, his hand was holding a size 39, but it's A DIFFERENT PATTERN AND COLOR. i was like"THIS IS THE WHITE ONE, A DIFFERENT PATTERN. I TOT U SAID U DUN WAN THIS PATTERN?" then he says"OH, THEN FIND ME THE SIZE 39 IN THAT ORANGE." the problem is, the orange he refers to is the one he asked me to find just now. i spend like 15 minutes telling him that there is no size 39. WAT THE HELL.
CUSTOMER3: this customer is even weirder. he can in our dept and said that he is finding shoes for his SON, please notice that that's his SON. he said he want something with lights, so i found this spiderman in blue, track shoes for him. he told me he didnt wan that and his son wont prefer that, and point to one of the shoes and ask me to find the size for him. actually that shouldnt be a problem to me. but the problem is that the shoe he is pointing at is a pink color, snowwhite track shoes. P.S his son is 10 years old.i was like "THAT'S A SNOW WHITE LIGHT SHOES!!! FOR GIRLS!!!" he was saying"DUN WORRY, MY SON WILL LIKE IT AND I REALLY LIKE THIS" (=______=''')
okay, i'll try to keep my own world to myself. i tink it's weird but im gonna tell myself. IT'S NOT WEIRD! IT'S NOT WEIRD! IM LIVING IN A SMALL WORLD!
more weird customer, coming nxt week=)

2007-03-11T01:19:00.000+08:00

Wat a tiring day today! Argh! wish my payday can arrive faster. Anyway, im so damn bored that i have to work tomorrow also! hmm. wish that i can get my pay! there's a list of things i need to buy. Skirts and shorts, shirts, and most of all bags! perhaps i should consider cutting my nails. i've got a lotta complains from pple playing basketball with me abt my nails scratching them. hmm. maybe i really consider cutting them off. hmm. but i wont be able to do manicure!
wat the hell! yesterday was hell day! i have diarrhoea and i have to cancel the whole celebrating ann's birthday. cos u cant expect me to go to the loo every 30 mins while celebrating her birthday. hmm. i've been to the loo 5 times. the toilet reeks of the shit smell. haha. anyway, i kind of pangseh them loh. so SORRY! ANN! hope she can forgive me for not attending her birthday. hmm. i tink she is quite angry of me ba! she didt even reply my msgs! argh! forget abt it.
IF U TINK IT"S FAKE I"VE MADE ALLTHESE UP, LET IT BE. i know there's a lotta pple toking behind my back. like i fucking care. dun try to deny everything. u know who u are. if u really tink im jus a PSK, so be it. i dun really care. but i mus say sorry lots to ann. there are pple telling the whole world tat i've PS them b4. pple who tell others that i PS them but is actually u PS me first. u know who u are. i wont say out. u can just open ure fucking mouth and say that, and didnt tink of my feelings. u can jus pretend u NEVER said it and be fucking good with me. so be it. i jus wanna say one thing.
i just wanna keep the friends who really made friends with me by their hearts. not just ask for a accompany and fucking backstab me behind. if u really wanna leave my life, im fine with it. i dun need such friend. i may not have many friends, but a least there's one willing to be by my side. that's ailibaba...

2007-03-09T17:43:00.000+08:00

WAT THE HELL!!! i know it's been a long time since i blogged... im quite surprised by the blogger asking me to create a google account... by hey!!! FOR WAT PURPOSE? since when has the blogger be under google? hmm... i guessed im quite outdated ba!!! hahaha... i found something while i was reorganising my mp3...

The guy who love you, can't tell you the reason why he love you. he only knew that, in his eyes, you are the only one
The guy who love you, actually always make you mad, but he do never know what stupid thing did he done, as everything he done, is for your own good.
The guy who love you, seldom praise you , but in his heart, you are the best, only he know it,
The guy who love you, will scold or complaint if you din't reply his message but others, because he cares.
The guy who love you , Only drop his tears infront of you, when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beat for you.
The guy who love you , will remember every word u said , even its accidentally. and he will use the word always at the nick of time.
The guy who love you, will not give any promise that easily, because they don't want to break the promise, they want you to believe him and they want to give you the happiest and safest life everafter.
The guy who love you, always tell you not to think too much, because they already plan it for you, he want to give u the best life in the future, he want to give you a suprise, believe him that he can do it.
The guy who love you, maybe can't remember special occasion like some kind of anniversary,but , he do know that, every second he live, he's loving you, no matter what day is today
The guy who love you, won't said " i love you" that easily, because everything he done for you is showing that he love you already, but only he will tell the word at the special situation, because he dun wan u to misunderstand, he want u to know that he love you.
The guy who really love you, will feel that, sometimes, something hav to tell for only once,because he thought that u might already understand him, if talk so much, he will feel that there's nothing you will cherish.
The guy who love you, will go to airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect. but he will carry your luagage and ask you " why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.
The boy who love you, will listen quietly to you,when you are mad, and when you finished, he will said, you still got class tomorrow, sleep earlier .with smile.
The boy who love you, don't know that whether he should call you when you are angry, but he willsent a message to you after few hours, if you ask him why he call that late, he will said, when you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But when you calm down, my explanation will only really works.
The boy who love you, always call you little girl,but everytime he want to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.
The guy who love you, don't like little toy like teddybear, but he will always put the bear you gave him at his bed.
The guy who love you, while quarelling, he will apologize uncontrollably, althought you are the one who's wrong, and later, he will sent a message to you with " baby, actually you know its your fault, you know it urself "
The guy who love you, while really miss you, hewill want to buy a bunch of rose and wait for you stupidly under your apartment.but he never knows , what he bought is daisy, but doesn't matter, because in his heart, that's roses.
The guy who love you, seldom said sweet words,but you know, his kisses already transfer his all passion to you.
The guy who love you , if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because heknew, if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.
GALs in crush, love, do you think the guy who's beside you do really love you? if yes, wish you have the happiest day ever after.

i know it's quite looong!!! but it's worth reading it!!! haha... i forgotten when & where i've got it... hmm..

2006-12-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

THAT'S IT... i found 2 chocolates in my bag... haha... i tink santa claus has gave me... haha=) anyway... it's eunice birthday party today... i dunno but i kindda suck in my attitude towards eunice... maybe i too tired liao... cos i ton yesterday nitex at hui qi's hse... haha...
LIST OF PPLE FALLING ASLEEP FIRST AND LAST:

ANN TAY
KOH YUNA
KOH HUI QI
AMANDA
ME
YAN PING

haha... i so tired today!!! haha, so nevertheless, i sleep frm aftnoon till 11pm... haha... today at eunice party, THE FOOD WAS SO NICE... damn nice sia... especially the tofu... AHH... so nice!!! and paiseh to ailibaba... cos i kindda overslept and she was on her way meeting me... haha... so sorry=)

2006-12-13T20:14:00.000+08:00

I found something interesting =)::

ENGLISH : i love you
POLISH : ja kocham cibie
FRENCH : je t'aime
HINDI : hum tumhe pyar karte hae
CZECH : miluji te
SLOVAKIAN : lu'bim ta
ITALIAN : ti amo
UKRAINIAN : ya tebe kahayu
GERMAN : ish libe dish
CHINESE : wo ai ni
GREEK : s' agapo
HAWAIAN : aloha wau ia oi
LITHUIANIAN : tav myliu
KOREAN : sa rang hae yo
JAPENESE : aishiteru
ROMANIAN : te ubsec
BOSNIAN : volim te
ALBANIAN : te dua
FILIPINO : mahal kita
SPANSH : te amo
PORTUGESE : amo te
ARABIAN : annah be hebic

NICE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA!

2006-12-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

well, i guess pple are never satisfy with thing they had... it kindda strange, when pple think tat evil pple should be condamm and how good pple should be the one in earth... PLEASE YOU!!! there are no such HOLY people u can find on earth... wat is the defination of evil? The defination of evil is justified by HUMANS. well, if i were to define evil, perhaps throwing bananas skin over the floor and letting pple fall are evil... well, i dun believe tat every person on earth are either good or bad... THERE IS NO SUCH PURE GOOD PPLE LYING AROUND... everybody has a dark side of him or herself who wans to be evil... at least im someone who are lik tat... if killing pple doesnt take u to jail, perhaps i would have killed a bunch of pple... haha... i jus tink tat before u say someone's a bitch or bastard, try to reflect on ureself... arent u the same? if u were to scold pple a bitch or bastard, i wont tink u are any better than them... i wouldnt tink i am so good at least... IM A LOUSY PERSON... and sometime hidden secret are not meant to say... everybody has a past to say... my past is:: im a 17 year old gal turning 18 nxt year jan... if u have known me, u should have known tat i have a scar on my left eye. the scar was not created becos i wore spects and scratched it. it becos someone threw a scissors on me and it nearly took my left eye away. and that someone turns out to be my mum. i maybe be say she ACCIDENTALLY threw the scissor at me. but i would have nvr known it. maybe she did it on purpose. but i still loved my mum. and she now still gulity of the thing becos until now, the scar nvr leaves my face:: haha... sounds dramatic sia... haha.. hmm... maybe i can write a good compo!!! haha...

~`HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOMEONE TURNING 17 TOMMORROW`~

2006-11-15T11:03:00.000+08:00

im jus so into u... i missed the old day so so much!!! but u will nvr noe it... im jus under ure friends list... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u... im so into u...
I WAN A HAMSTER OF MY OWN =)

2006-10-17T11:42:00.000+08:00

guess wat... i am blogging frm the sch com again...... life jus sux... espically the modules are plainly boooooring!!! *yawns... its lik shit... okok... it's jus plain boring when u have a 2 hrs break and u dont know how to do about it... haha... y dont they jus end everything straight and fast!!! by giving us a 2 hrs break and walk around sch wont help our brain to grow more intelligent... duh!!! i dont need to fantasized at the surroundings of the NYP and how great it is... i came here to study here anyway... YEAH!!! i more gal gal le... haha... tat's evreyone say... haha... at least sarah did say abt me turning more gal... haha... i realised once u in poly... everything changes... even ure character... hmm... today is another boring day... maybe goin to library to lend more books ba!!! haha... lurves meg cabot THE MEDIATOR lahs!!! damn nice... the only book i feel in love with other than roald and say goodnight gracie... haha... anyway... its kinnda eeky to read at night... espically u off the lights and reading frm the flashlight frm ure phone... haha... tat's wat i do... cos the ceilling lights irritates me the most when i am lying one my bed reading... so i prefer to have the lights off... and the mediator is abt a gal who can see ghost!!! althought is not scary or horror, but u still get the feeling of eeky, as if someone watching u beside ure bed... i guess it's jus the extreme of me reading it with the lights off... haha... OK!!! i admit i am timid... especially timid against the darkness!!! haha... i guess i still have the creepy of staying in the dark reading ghost story... haha... WHO DOESNT!!! right... i almost forgot... *criss angel and bleach rawks!!!*

2006-10-16T15:47:00.000+08:00

haha... wat the hell am i blogging abt... i dunno... today sch reopen nehs... and no mood study... because got website restrictions... tat's y i can only blog!!! argh!!! goin crazy le... the module i studying look difficult nehs... haha... msn-ing blogging.... tat's how i waste me time on... lata going meet aili nehs... haha... going to be another topic toking abt sch day... sianx... the only day i am waiting to come is hari raya!!! haha... wher i can slp the whole day!!! haha... i watch dear boy le... so nice sia!!! arh!!! damn shuai loh!!! today tagged aili... go tiko her blog... haha... she doesn't even believe tat i go tiko her blog... haha... y she like tat... dun believe me...aft all i am her frend nehs... *sobs*... she dun trust me!!! boohoo!!! haha... today another moodless day... onli my frend keep playing pranks with me... haha... gtg!!!

2006-10-02T12:22:00.000+08:00

that's wat happen when u sucker hated someone in ure life... someone very close to ure life...

he/she goes ard telling pple that he/she is innocent
he/she acts to have pple take pity of him/her
he/she doesnt show his/her true colors to relative NOT within 10 m range
he/she acts like he/she have seen everything in the world

hmm... does he/she sound familiar to ya?

2006-09-14T03:08:00.000+08:00

today, uncle passed away... last year, my 3rd uncle passed away... this year, my cousin passed away... followed by my elder uncle which is today... news came as shockin as ever... hmm... strange, he is healthy all along... no sickness... y would he pass away by a merely stroke? i dun understand and nvr got to see him till now... wat had made him collapsed? my conclusion is......... CHILDREN ARE BORN IN THE WORLD TO WATCH THEIR PARENTS DIE i used to tink tat my parents are naggy... now im worried tat i do not have enough time with them... put myself in my uncle's son's shoe... I WILL GO CRAZY... my father cried hearin the news... i wonder how my uncle son is now... hmm... he has always been a cheerful person... likes teasing me... god... pls i beg u... i cannot withstand these anymore... death is the most saddening endding on earth... i cant smile and pretend nothing gone wrong... how i face it lies within me and forever within me... i dun wan to be a oppimistic person... cos it looks lik pretendin to be strong... i jus wan pple ard me to be healthy... i realised the happy low family i used to have GONE... cos pple are leaving earth one by one... when will it be my turn to leave earth? i can only tell myself... come'on low yiling, be opptimistic!!! but a person born in the earth to watch pple beside them die away... i rather be the person to leave earth first........

2006-08-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

she lay in bed... motionless and face as pale as a white sheet of paper. she commit suicide on wednesday.
i heard the news... shocking as i ever had... questioning the doubts that grew beneath my heart... i couldnt believe wat i saw on my phone... am i dreamin? the first thought came in me... MY NIECE... i wanted to msg her... but i hold back... she needs to give herself time to cool down... i visited her early in the morning... although she look fine but i know deep down she wanted to cry... i saw the corpse lying in the coffin... i wondered: this isnt her... it doesnt look her... she lay motionless in her coffin... i jus hope she could wake up and tell me it is a joke... but she lay there as still as a wooden block... i saw my cousin's sister... she look shag... as day grew by... i came up with a conclusion...
CHILDREN ARE BORN TO WATCH THEIR PARENTS DIE AWAY...
MY NEPHEW RUNNING AROUND PLAYING CATCHING WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED AWAY... WAT A INNOCENT CHILD... IGNORANCE IS BLISS... I CAN DO NOTHING BUT WATCH.................

2006-06-26T22:07:00.000+08:00

whoota!!! heex... im back!!! hoho!!! no motivation study again... hmm... tml is test le... i still slackin ard!!! haha... feelin kinda weird weird de... i dunno y but i dun seem to like hanging ard with my nyp frends... even my regent frend... haha... i jus stay at hm slack ard... hmm... tml intending call ailibaba & eunice go play ball... hmm... wish to go out with kiat aili sebas yongkim & most importantly... my BUDDY kai!!! argh!!! intended to watch movie with him, in the end, we didnt meet up watch movie cos he very free de days i not free, i free de days, he not free... haha... tink alot during these days... keep tinkin wad u doin now... hmm...i jus have to accept the facts... haha... no matter wad, JIAYOUS!!!
i wished to go bak the past but it seems tat u moved on...

2006-06-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

thinkin of u all the times... the times we had in sch... i lead a life that i nvr had... a life so happy that i tot it is a dream... a dream i always wanted... tinking of u lots... like my mind nvr grew tired of it... my words nvr reach ure ears... my feelin nvr reach u... u will nvr know now i feel... waitng for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you waiting for you*simple me. complicated you*

2006-06-16T17:22:00.000+08:00

yesterday i saw her blog... one entry writing abt me... i wonder tat shld i leave u in the first place? golb ruoy gnidaer elihw deirc... i dunno the path im going is right or wrong... it seems u moved on... never feel so hard to pick up courage to tok to someone u lost... i never had the courage... so i nvr attempt to make the first move... am i wrong to do tat? i only noe u dun nd me le... haix... see tat u leading a life tat u really desired is good... i dunno wad to say... haha... maybe u nvr write abt me ba!!! I REALLY WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIME...
evelyn, i hope we could go bak to the past

2006-06-16T01:03:00.000+08:00

haha... wadever... u still remain as a bastard in my life... the more u tryin to act pitiful... the more u make me puke... yaya... pple tink i wanna be the decision maker... pple tink i wanna be solo kia... anything loh... i cannot link with u guys anyway... do finish the project and we dun have anymore relations... haha... i jus cant understand y i can be so happy and crazy with my regent frends but not my nyp frends... haha... maybe we dun click ba... flare up so often... i mus be siaox le... dun like means dun like... even if u seem to read my blog... i still wanna say fucking bastard... the more u tryin to show i am wrong... i more wrongs i get in life... i jus love it... feel free to scold me... i dun mind... i am always standing here for pple to scold me... i more pple quarrel with me... the more i tink i cant click with u all... and the more i will grew quiet... haha... never had quiet attitude ard 2 yrs something le... i dun mind being a quiet gal... i will only grow happy and crazy when i am with my frends... pple jus expect me to listen to their call when i am watching a movie... cant u see tat when watching movie mus switch to silent... haha... u tink the movie theater is open by ure dad arhz? okok... i am wrong to scold u... u are also wrong to blame me for not answering ure call... wad the!!?! u expect me to hold on the hp 24 hrs on my hand so i will be the first to answer any calls... BULLSHIT!!! im in no position to say anything... i say anything loh... up to u all... u come say me tat it is not ure decision onli... is ours wadeva... haha... did i say me decision is final? haha... i dun tink so... since u tink i tink tat i am the decision maker wadeva u call tat, so y i bother to reply u all... let u all be the decision maker since u all want it so much... i will give u ure desired position as a decision maker... our grp is crumbling anyway... got pple wish to go to another grp... got pple wish to do solo... got pple dun do anthing... and got pple lik me... keep on giving trouble and unhappiness to all... aft this project, i really dunno how to go on anymore... dunno how to move on with my life aft sooo many quarrels... YES!!! i am unhappy with all of u... but tat includes myself... unhappy tat i make too much fuss and noise to the class... yupp... i tink i will jus stop poking in other pple business and shut the hell of my mouth in nyp... only grow noisy and bak to my old self with my ex regent classmates... y i bother to care... making myself so tired... tired tired... yupp... i am attention seeker... do wat u wanna do... say wad u all wanna say... its ure mouth and i cant stop it... the onli thing i can stop is my mouth... it is never so hard at regent when i make my first frend... haha... think i at intermediate level of making frends... things appear to be harder... MANY THINGS... thanks to all that... i am able to grow... growing to know the truths of being an adult... im not a good person... never is a good person... YES!!! i am evil... troublemaker... bitch... wadever u call tat... i only thing i noe is u dun like me... i also dun like u... u hate me... i also hate u... u backstab me... i also backstab u... tis is how i grow up to be...

2006-06-04T10:31:00.000+08:00

To the one extra fucking bastard in my team:
i can no longer bear with u anymore... i dunno how u ended up in our team... if u tink u so big position tat u dun need to do anything and everytime push everything to us, u are wrong... my limits to u are over... i never wanted u to be in our team... and i hate everytime we are the same team... stop trying to act ah beng when u are not... stop trying to tiao pple... pls lah... if u trying to act beng, jus go cut ure hair spiky or style ure hair lah... no use keep ure hair lik a nerd and act beng loh... go colour ure hair and tattoo ure back... you this kind of act beng buay beng is one i hated most... wad so big F about ure size... u tink u big size then everybody will scared of u arhz? u not big size, u are FAT!!! pls dun tink u look so amazing tat pple will be scared of u... AND PLS, AS IN THE MRT I SHOUTED AT U, STOP TIAOIN ME... i cannot stand u anymore... i dunno y they all mus put u in my team... u are jus one fucking bastard i hated... when we decided tat 3 pple in oour team... u extra extra come in... buay paiseh... thick skin...

i am so tired everytime i generate ideas... its time for u all to generate ideas...

everybody in NYP thinks tat they are in big position and pple will scare them... haha... u all look more lik moron trying to be a fool... so tired of pple here...
i missed RGT sec sch frends...

2006-05-28T23:24:00.000+08:00

haha... yesterday went sentosa with ping, ann, naynoob, jude... haha... got sunburnt!!! argh!!! so pain... hmm... y they all dun have sunburnt one... not fair... i feel so right bak to sec sch life... lik i am a sec sch student... haix, but thing change alot... dun they? yesterday fell right to bed ard 10 plus 11... OMG!!! i jus rmb i forgot to do e learnin and tutorials!!! my gosh... dammit sia... so many hw... AHHHHHHHHH!!! garfield 2 out on 15 june... gotta catch the show... and da vinci code too... so many movie i wanna watch... gotta be brokeT_T haha... wanna buy bag again... hmm... im tinkin whether to buy the white purple nike bag or the black adidas i saw on parkway parade... hmm... dunno leh... today is a happy day!!! coz my mp3 function normally again... haha... tat idiotic brother is bak frm camp and quarrel wif mum... haha... not havin peace with him ard... IM A BAD PERSON... i pangseh pple again... to those who quite displeased by me... IM SORRY...
btw, if u got plenty of time to do and u dunno wat u shld do, i recomend u watch criss angel mindfreak on youtube.com... jus search for criss angel... his illusions and magic is sooo wonderful... HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO DO TAT??? he simply rawks my world!!! best illusionist i ever seen... CRISS ANGEL MINDFREAK
i m waiting for you... i am so into you... lala

2006-05-21T02:13:00.000+08:00

haha... today is both a happy and sad day 4 me... hmm... happy is becos i can go bak hm late late... and yets, my dad didnt scold me!!! sad one is... i felt so not into their topic... so not into anything except for ghost stories... hmm... i guess everyone has moved on with their lives and it is happy to noe tat... argh!!! my mp3 system corrupted... hmm... hope it is okay... have to sent it 4 repair and hope all my data will not lose... i spend all my hard time loadin all the things and now i dun have it anymore...

i guess i have to find time to pei my waiyu tat is ping ba... haha... ping!!! me will pei u in the nitex... promise!!! so many things revolving ard tat makes me feel tat i dislike my life... nevertheless, i will try as hard as possible to change my life... i guess jus have to let stupidhead go ba... i nvr expect u to put me in ure life... wat i have said come true le... we can only be hi and bye frends... nth more than tat... i guess i am not suitable in anywhere... hmm... where can i find frends tat is the same as me? hobbies and all tat... am i too selfish? haha... jus be glad of wat i have now... at least i have frend tat truly care... I MISS SEC SCH LIFE!!! lots lots... miss my friends... and miss........

lala

2006-05-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

hmm... bak to blog again!!! actually, i dunno wad i shld write... haha... jus saw a letter to my bastard brother... from ministry of health... abt human organ transplant!!! argh!!! is he dying soon? haha... now is 11 plus in the night... hmm... i intendin to sneak outta home... haha... wait for my dad to fall asleep...

waiting....

waiting...

waiting...

haha... me cut my finger today... during my practical lesson... actually it's not a very deep cut... but the worst things is... the metal also cut THROUGH my fingernails... boohoo!!! pain! actually wanted to debur my workpiece using a file... the file slips and hence cut my hands... wahlow... the practical teacher very mei liang xin... see me bleed he say aiyo such a small cut... HELLO!!! U EXPECT ME TO CUT MY WHOLE FINGER OUT THEN U HAPPY ARHZ? haha... still waitin 4 my dad to sleep... feel lik singin twinkle twinkle little star to him... heex... oh man!!! tml have to do my tutorials le... plus e-quizes on the com... haix... so many hw... today i hardly can figure out what the maths lesson is my lecturer, hendi effendi tokin abt!!!! argh!!! i hate him lik siaoz...

*ways of gettin out*
-jus tell my parents tat i wanna go out and immediately step out of the hse
-bluff them
-wait for dad to slp then sneak out
-knock them till they faint
-threaten them
-climb the windows tat lead to the corridors(hmm... good idea)
-pretend to slp and sneak out
-be a apple polisher

boohoo!!! i dun have a very perfect plan!!!

*waiting for dad to sleep*

IMU so much... haha n lala

2006-05-10T22:04:00.000+08:00

i finally awaken today... u nvr expect me to meet xinying ba... she told me u quitted voice assemble WITHOUT telling me... hohoho... u threw me in tis piece of shit and left me alone... who is the one wanting me pei her... i can only tell u one thing... U CHANGED ALOT... until i dunno who u are anymore... i am so naive... to believe tat we would be the same again... so stupid... to trust u... is tis ure revenge to me? haha... there is so many things gonna be different and i have to accept it...

to BBNN...
i am sorry tat i let u feel tat i am using u... really sorry coz i nvr expect u to feel tis way... i wanted to call u out when i have the time... jus sorry... poly life jus crush me lik everyday is o level exam... seeing pple so hard workin... i knew u are sad and i cant be there for u... therefore i am sorry... i expect u to live to my expectations but i nvr change myself... i am real sorry...

i am jus a selfish bitch... i am so into beliving tat stupidhead and i would be the same again tat i neglected everything... hopes tat my life could refresh again...

2006-04-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

it's so hard being a cheerful gal... i nvr want to be a cheerful gal anymore... y muz i try my best to make someone happy when me myself is feelin bad??? in the end, i got nth except scoldings... pple angry abt me... suddenly, all these thing aspired me... NOT TO TRUST ANYONE... haha... trying to wear a happy mask behind my sad faces... to come tink of it... it's time 4 me to grow up... not to make funny things in class to make pple laugh at me... not to be so noisy... i am lazy to say anymore... i want to be a gal who wears her mp3 all the time... not noeing everything... not listenin to everything... not toking abt everything... i am gonna be lik it... y lik tat!!! two weeks in sch only... got pple dislike me... maybe i shld change my attitude... no more loud speakers...

2006-04-23T01:05:00.000+08:00

god!!! u are not being fair... i am not scolding u for the sake of me... but for the sake of willy and qi... y muz u take away him when qi needed him the most!!! do pple have to lose their most imp thing inorder to cherish!!! it aches me to see qi's blog... everytime in the entries write tat she pray for willy to be ok... damn sia... y am i crying? is it because tat sad movie life happens to pple whom i knew? compared to her, i am nth... i am a weak fella... i cant give her support to ask her to be strong... i am a weak fella... i finally know how script writers write script... thru the life experience and things happening around him...is really sad movie came frm real pple story? life is so unfair... u cant get wat u wanted the most...i jus cant believe... believe tat willy passed away...leaving qi alone... y does things turn out tis way!!! life and death are jus beside each other... one day a person is happy playing lookin energetic... another day , it vanishes out of tis world... life is so fragile...

maybe someday... its my turn to leave tis world...

2006-04-21T01:05:00.000+08:00

haix... today late again... guess in have to slp earlier... came bak frm work around 10 plus in the night... so tired while workin... today on the way to campus, i saw a man slpin in the mrt drooling around... haha... damn funny... it doesnt seems to affect his slp... arrive at campus, kai xiang called and sae lecture cancell but they nd take attendance... i wasnt there... so considered absent frm lectures... hate poly life lik siaoz... simply sux there... kindda moody becos of something... on my way to work frm campus, haha... lucky i got ben pei me... my jie mei so good!!! see me moody then come pei me... heex...campus life is simply boring... break time more than lesson time... while writting tat i regret letting stupidhead go and wish to msg her... so coincidence... i post my tat entry, stupidhead said elloz to me... heexx... i simply go crazy... but i found out tat we not so close anymore... no matter how hard we tried... met jessica... she seems to be the same... haha... my primary sch best bud... planned to go same CCA as her... at least there is someone to pei me... i feel so glad havin to meet her...

you two jus simply look alike...

2006-04-19T01:12:00.000+08:00

bak to write blog aft sooo many day i went missin... appeallin to np failed... which means, i get to go nyp!!! such a "good" sch... everytime lecture cancell... i tink i sit and slack ard even more than i go lecturing... met a few friends... heex... at least i got FRIENDS!!! but WHY ALL BOY!!! my class onli have 2 gal including me... diaoz... one gal frm china which i not VERY close to... met many pple..." heard u go nyp appeal to np unsucessful... shld be in the digital media block ba" tat's wad i wanted to msg her... but i really dunno how to start a topic now... i dunno y i flare up lik mad... but a month has passed... my temper seem to gone... i really really really really really want to go bak to the old days we had... even it seem tat all the while u was ENTERTAININ ME or wadeva u call... i wanted to live bak the life of stupidegg... wanted you by myside... i wondered"did i ever learn to cherish you?" when u lose someone then u learn to cherish her... i begining to understand the meanin of LOSING someone... having a thousands of word i wanted to sae... but i dunno how to say...

"stupid fool... juz msg her lah!!!" word circling inside my brain... but i am scared of seeing her at sch... so i leave the digital media design block far far away... hmm... am i retarded? today i wore the puzzle necklace tat me and stupidhead have... neck sensitive so i took it off... chain it on my bag... ben took it off and hid it... i tot i lost the chain panicked... damn him man... then i realise tat u still stand a place in my heart... no matter how i tried to tell myself to lead a life with no u...

i am in a loss position!!! y muz i flare up? i don't understand!!! is it tat i really jealous or wad??? wat a damn retarded me...

I REGRETTED IT...

wish we can still be like wad we are in the old times!!!

2006-04-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

today an adventurous day!!! haha... me and aili actually intending to slack around... call kiat and he doesnt wanna come out... called buddy kai... in the end, conference with 2 of his frend, puinny fong and hong ming... haha... sebas workin... all buay steady!!! finally, left with no choice, we called min jia... in the end, found out tat she is goin out with NTUC boi... haha... hence we rushed frm boon lay down bukit panjang... heex... coz she said tat she is goin bowlin... hmm... lot 1 dun have bowling... and not anywhere near... haha... so muz be BP lah... we spyed them frm afar... haha... them last spotted by mj... haha...we play hide and seek sia... very fun... and then decided to go lot coz aili see jeans... and took neoprints... haha... btw, if any 4/10 pple see my blog... pls notify whether u are going to attend chalet IF we organise one... we are discussing whether to plan a chalet or not... most probably at aloha loyang... heex...

luv lalala

2006-04-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

today no work!!! so happy... tml also no work!!! went to trim my hair... and my eyebrows... heex... buy coloured contact lenses... -_- tink i am goin to be broke!!! argh!!! yew tee POSB de branch close down for under renovation... argh~ cant deposit my pay cheque... tmd... y lik tat... damn broke now... tink cannnot buy clothes and bag till my cheque is being deposited... haha... i went my grandma hse today... anyway... i had the cream pasta frm seven eleven... micro-wave de~ damn... it sucks lik hell... i nvr expect it to be soo damn sux... even i lik eating pasta muz admit it really sux... dun if it is expired or wad... taste damn weird... and the slurpee... watery watery de... doesnt slurpee should look lik shit lik tat? dunno lah... lik drinkin coke like tat... no diff... so i asked the cashier to change one 4 me... damn regret... i shld have the takoyaki rather than the cream pasta... sux to the hell... =P yahh!!! teresa is out!!! i dunno y i jus dun lik her smilin... lik very fake lik tat... everything mus smile... (btw, i am tokin abt the campus superstar) lucky zhiyang is the champ... it would be more nicer if it is geraldine... anyway!!! yuyang is sooo shuai!!! lik him lots!!!=X

i shld have known u were not into me... but i am soo into you...
lalalala

2006-04-02T02:10:00.000+08:00

WHY MUST EVERYTHING SEEM SO WRONG!!! today got my pay... but i am not happy as i expected... not because my pay is low... dunno y... jus dun feel happy about some i do not noe... anyway... pple around me are jus using me... I DUN BELIEVE FORVER FREND... it doesnt even seem to appear in my dictionary anymore... having rashes again... this is the third time i having rashes... one on O' level exam another on chinese new year... suay sia...suay until i dunno wat to sae... haix haix haix... orientation comin up on nxt nxt week... goin to be a tough day... sianx sia...

i jus saw something tat makes me curious...

can pple born blind see dreams?

stupid me... always tinkin of u... u are gone now... only serves as a memory to me...
lalalalalalalalalalala

2006-03-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

haha... today is the most number of times i laughed since long time ago... went k box with min jia and aili and on the way to orchard, BBNN called!!! i was so suprised tat she called me... not to be sacarstic but i called her a hundred time and she nvr seem to call bak... she said she didnt see any miss call... hmm... i a person whom wonders what pple say to me is true or not... i had a feelin tat she DID see the miss call but didnt call bak somehow because there are more IMPORTANT pple needed to entertain rather than an extra me... haha... but nevertheless, i think positively... during our singin at k box, she msg me again... tellin me to lend her a maths guide book... at then... i was VERY DISSAPPOINTED... not becos she wanted to lend something frm me... is becos i have tis feelin tat she was using me... i dunno y... this feelin jus came rushin in me... she seldom call me... almost NEVER now... tis march i almost nvr receive her call... and she suddenly call me because she wanted lend something frm me?the times where i receive her msg is the time tat she and mosquito quarrel...

i said b4... i dun wanna be a subsititude... stop treating me like one... maybe u dun treat me like one... i dunno... u gave me tis feeling... i stoped believing in others when i let stupidhead goes... i led a simple life... with 4 friends by my side... kiat aili mj buddy... it's enough for me...u didnt even pei me thru the saddest times of my 17 year life... and now u wanted me to believe tat you are still my frend... if tat is the case... wat a good friend and hangout mate i have... i dunno who is still by my side anymore... even aili and mj seems so far tat i cant reach to them... they have their own frends... cant expect pple to pei me all day long... i understand tat... leading a simple life makes me simple... the tinkings i used to have now changes... together with my feelings... tried to keep myself occupied in order not to tink too much... it saddens me sooo much... i hope to led a new life... with new friends by my side... friends tat can make me trust them...

no offence... but i personally tink the party world de food and drinks not clean... me and aili both have stomache after drinkin drinks... wanna pang sai lik tat... my stomach keep growling... Grr........ argh!!! cant stand it... dirty dirty dirty party world... damn... the price is abt the same whether u use the free 4 hrs coupon or not... no diff lah... i rather go k box loh... drinks more clean... wont stomache after drinkin... cheaper...haha... thanks to mj and aili... u two really makin me happier... glad tat i have known you two... today is a day tat i laughed the most and np tat day... also the three of us at np... the memories i have only three of us... argh!!! stomache growling again... need to go toilet... got to go!!!

2006-03-27T13:34:00.000+08:00

today is my mum birthday... heex... goin to eat steamboat...yesterday work and I MET SOMEONE!!! heex... if u all got see star idol shld noe BRYAN... heex... he got the superstar look loh... muz admit it... i asked him how tall is he... argh!!! 181cm... i tink i will nvr able to reach his height... heex... haha... today off... finally there is some day tat i work afternoon shift... so tired work night one... heex... friday me go partyworld sing song with aili and mj then get a free 4 hr coupon... goin to use the coupon on thursday...

I HATE BEING USED BY SOMEONE... DONT COME FINDIN ME IF U QUARREL WITH HER... I DUN LIKE YOU COME FIND ME ONLY WHEN U QUARREL WITH HER... I AM NOT A SUBSTITUDE...

heex... today either goin eat steamboat or buffet... i bought a necklace and earrings from taka jewelery for mum.... cost me a hundred plus... very broke now... haha...waiting for my pay!!! yeah... april comin and i regain my money... now very broke... muz be more spendthrift... heexx

kohyuna dun only come find me when u quarrel with julie...

2006-03-21T01:10:00.000+08:00

haha... actually i was typing my post few days ago... the suddenly the keyboard gone off... tmd... no choice but to save in draft... heex... tis is the post from monday de... on 20/3/06:
argh!! tmd, cant seem to open one file... tml off!!! to be exact, it's today... haha... goin out with aili for bag hunting... and see the movie yours, mine & ours... my frend sae endin very touchin... haha... contacted MJ!!! but tink she didnt pick up... wadeva... listenin to my immortal... i tink tat it jus decribes as what i am feelin now... so tired... tink saying is easier than done... haha... i can only comfort myself by sayin tat i am happy tat there is sumone who can give u happiness... haha...

i am so tired of being hereSuppressed by all my childish fearsAnd if you have to leaveI wish that you would just leave'Cause your presence still lingers hereAnd it won't leave me aloneThese wounds won't seem to healThis pain is just too realThere's just too much that time cannot eraseNow I'm bound by the life you left behindYour face it hauntsMy once pleasant dreamsYour voice it chased awayAll the sanity in meI've tried so hard to tell myself that you're goneBut though you're still with meI've been alone all along

the paragraph above this is the lyrics of my immortal... tink it is meaninful... btw... HELP!!! who is here 4 me? i really nd sumone by my side... yesterday quarrel with mum... today quarrel with dad... i beginnin to lose all my strength in me... i cant pick myself up and carry on anymore... it still hurts me to tink of the memories of u and me... as 4 my dad and mum... they are simply bias... because of wad? because im a girl... i hate myself being a girl... if i am not a girl... i dun tink all these would have happened... i really hope tat there is a person tat willing to lend me her shoulder to cry on... simply hate myself... y am i so sucks... always put a smile infront of others even when i am really sad... when i am alone... i cried... y cant i jus feel happy when i wan and feel sad when i am infront of others... jus cant do tat... dunno y... destiny is makin fun of me... i can have it... i cant own it... tat my life... maybe i am fated not to have u... i dunno how long i can hold on until one day i cry lik siaoz... if the motorcycle have jus knock me down and i will be free of everything... EVERYTHING...................

2006-03-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

juz came bak frm home and tragedy again struck!!! first is my idiot brother is bak frm camp again... another is my dad is damn angry abt my mum... i tink my mum went pub drinkin beer... haix... my dad is really unhappy... y cant she stop it!!! she kept drinkin beer aft work... and my dad explode once b4... i guess adults jus cant control themselves... blasting music in my ear in order not to hear them quarrel... haixx... they got so many comment abt each other... everytime wan me to be the middle person... y cant they tok among themselves? STOP INVOLVING ME!!! haix... everytime lik tat... they not sianz i also sianz liao... today i am in a daze... nearly knock down by a motorcycle when crossing the road... keep droppin chicken meat on the floor... tat's not all... spilled chili powder... takin my supervisor apron when i am wearing my own... pple ask me to put only pepper then i added chilli... knockin off the shaker... haix... today is damn bad day... then went home seeing my mum abt to drunk and keep singin dunno wad damn song... and my dad unhappy naggin at me abt my mum... WHAT THE HELL!!!

yeah!!! finally get to off three days nxt week... meeting aili go see 'yours mine and ours' haha... tink shld be a funny show... nxt sat would be a tough day 4 me... workin frm 11am till 10pm... argh!!! anything lah... i get to earn money$$$... heex... gotta work hard if wanna buy good de mp3... heex... wadeva...

i still tink abt you... supidhead... i guess i haven got over you yet...
IMISSYOUNTHEDAYSWEHAD...

2006-03-18T00:37:00.000+08:00

haha... workin today again... me decided either work till 15 april if my supervisor lets or i work till end of april... so sianz sia... saw aili today and jus tok on msn... she said i look fierce when cutting chicken... am i? well, u cant expect me to smile at the CHICKEN... argh!!! bleach 72 dunno out or not... lata have to check... yesterday at the coverse fair bought myself two shirts and a slipper... haha... i kindda lik the designs... haha... anyway, me is probably gonna work 7 full days nxt week... its is killing me!!! work so many days... well, i also nd to have fun!!! summore there very sianz loh... nth to do... WHAT THE HELL!!! bleach is already out but i didnt see it in the d/l website... aiya... gonna watch on the web... cannot d/l... =( heex... it's out anyway... haha... i fell in love with pepsi max... i tink it taste great!!! but i dun lik diet coke... haha... dunno y... me is growin fatter liao... heex... eat too much le... muz go on diet... anyway... million thanks to kiat 4 cheering me up yesterday... yesterday i tok to eugene lee... he is kindda sad tat he is still in sch... haha... nvm... muz work hard... i decided le!!! me muz be more gurl... haha... dun be suprised if u see me very girly after 4 years... haha... today saw a girl.... HER HAIR DAMN NICE!!! like it lots... me gonna highlight purple... anybody wanna highlight? heex... nice... love purple lots... gotta see my bleach le... writin till here...

cried while reading ure blog... coz u dun feel anything 4 me expect gulity... the one u tokin abt shld be me ba...
but u hurt me lots lots lots... my heart is still aching aft 2 weeks...

2006-03-16T20:10:00.000+08:00

tmd... really dunno how to describe her.... she treat u so good le... so stop acting high class in ure blog... u can be better off dead... fuck sia... aiya dun tok abt her anymore... it is their business... i jus feel tat she is jus using me...

anyway, today i slack around with aili and gang... and i met the person whom i dun wanna see... not because i am angry of u sorts... u dun nd to sae sorry to me... i am jus feelin tat even if we are still best friend, we wont have the 'best' friend feel anymore... eventually we will still drift away... so why not i jus set u free? no point harpin something or even someone whose heart was nvr into me... your heart belongs to ******... you are so into her... u treat her so imp tat u dun even turn around to look at me who cherishes u... i things i used to do, u will nvr noe... how my friends sae me when i ps them because of you... but now, i doesnt matter... coz i only have 4 friends around my side... who truly wish tat i could pour out my troubles to them... tat's enough 4 me... the buddies i used to have... you and bbnn... is so far away frm me tat i can hardly reach u two... since you all are so far away frm me, y harp on something i cant reach? the only thing i can do now is to treasure those by my side... aili, kiat and buddy... imagine having a frend tat you doesnt even noe what she is doin lately and sorts... a frend tat doesnt even tell u tat she patched with her hangouts... until u have to find out ureself... since this is the case, y not i jus let two of u go? i dont mind havin more friends to leave me... i am numb... so numb tat i cant feel ure sincerity anymore... no matter how many times u said sorry to me, i cant feel myself... my feelin when readin this msg... losin one or two friends i guess now doesnt really mean tat much...

thanks a million to aili... she told me not to turn my head around... but seeing your back facing me... drifting away frm when i was standing, no doubts tat i am quite sad... coz u turn ure face away... frm tat moment, i knew we could not return bak to normal... to the day where u waited for me outside mac aft my work... i am sorry tat i let you go... but i cant seem to breath anymore... i am tired of the fruitless friendship i held on... on the day it started... i knew one day we would be strangers... this day has come... it is today... where we met and pretended tat we didnt... i guess we are not meant to be forever friends... we simply look too different... our thoughts and interest and future... u have a great friend whom her interest is the same as you... you shld treasure her... i am sooo far away the two person i rely on... i guess i have to depend on myself...

i am numb... am i? i wonder...

2006-03-15T23:17:00.000+08:00

yeah!!! finally finish my work... having off tml... how i wished tat i have a frend jus lik how u treat her... now i only have sebastian chang, aili, kiat and buddy kai ba... no more frends liao... looks lik i have lost contact with all my frends le... sitting infront of the com listenin a hundred times of 'say it isnt so'... i tink it is meaningful... tml goin to west mall slack ard then go bak home then go sim lim sq... tis is probably my schedule 4 tml and the day aft tml is work work and work... i came bak home today and mum informed me tat nan yang poly enrolment package is here... oh gosh!!! i tot tat my appeal to ngee ann insuccessful... called sebas and he said tat appeal results in end of march... relieved tat i still have a hope to go ngee ann... but deep in my heart, some part of me juz tink tat i am not able to go ngee ann... heex... anything lah... go which sch then go study loh...

stupidhead, i miss you...
lala, i miss you...

2006-03-14T23:05:00.000+08:00

i am so tired... i dunno who to trust... who wants to be my friend... i belongs to nobody anymore... i feel tat my heart is very empty... aching so much... coz i have lost you... i dunno who is still beside me anymore... perhaps no one ba... tat is y these few daes i keep findin pple to tok... tried to keep myself busy so tat i wont tink so much... watever things i used to tell my friends, now i cant even find a friend tat i can tok to... i used to have friends whom i play ball with, but i have no more now... i used to have friends tat tell me her problems, but no more now... i used to have a best friend whom i cherish her very very much, but no more now... i am alone in this world... the road infront of me is so blur... i am too tired of speakin aloud of my accounts... wat happened these few days sorts... coz nobody wanted to listen... screamin out of my lungs in the middle of the crowd but nobody notices... who are still willing to be my frend?

i dunno...

i scold myself while i cried, told myself not to cry, but i kept crying

2006-03-12T02:03:00.000+08:00

argh!!! damn tired aft work... suddenly have the feeling to blog... anyway, i am deciding whether to buy zen micro photo or to buy ipod nano... so damn confused sia... aiya... dunno lah... pple sae the zen micro de sound system is good and it has more features than ipod nano... but i have searching thru the website and i find tat many complain abt the earjack problem and the firmware upgrade wadeva problems... and infact my friend who bought the creative zen micro also have the ear jack problem... but i am more worried tat if the warranty expires, i wont not be able to get my MP3 fixed... i tink apple has not many negative comments so far... but it contain not much features... and the apple ipod nano is way more expensive compared to zen... a 4g can get u for $400 plus whereby a 8g zen micro photo is also $400 plus... obviously, it is more worth it to buy a 8g MP3 player... maybe the market price is more cheap but the shop sell it more ex lah... i dunno!!! if anyone see my blog, can advise me whether to buy a ipod nano or a zen micro photo ma? thanks alot!!!

2006-03-10T22:54:00.000+08:00

yeah!!! finally back in my hse sittin infront of the com... my mum juz brought smelly tofu!!! i lik it lots... dunno why pple tink it is smelly leh? i dun tink so!!! damn nice...my idiot big brother came back from camp... y does he have to make my life miserable? when he goes to camp we always have a peaceful life... when he came back, we have to face his scoldin and my mum has to bear with all this... i tink nothing in the world can make him happy... juz a stubborn idiotic moron pple who make others life difficult... he is always unhappy abt pple doin tis and that... y doesnt he reflect on himself... he's 21 this year but dun even have a dream or wish to do thing... pathetic man... goes off his days by slackin around and scoldin my mum... tat is his best thing... act pitiful to his frend and my cousin and my cousin always sae i am being rude to my "brother"... yeah... who has a brother lik tat?scoldin my mum all these... came bak from camp with cursings and scoldings... dun understand why he can sneak off his life lik tat acting pitiful infront of others... sometime i wish he juz disappear from my life... if killing doesnt get me hanged, i will chop him into pieces and cook curry... when he is at home, i can always hear him quarrel with my dad and cursing and scolding my mum... i am very protective of my mum, so of course will bu shuang him lah... in the end, pple tink tat i am wrong... can he juz dun come bak from camp?stay inside camp very good wad... y muz he book out leh... haix... goin to have a miserable life these few days... hope trainin in navy be very very very very very very very tough for him... maybe they can throw him into the water if he cannot swim sorts... i am not goin to give him a peaceful life... i will make his life miserable too... coz he make my life miserable... i beginning to tink tat actually he isn't my brother... maybe my dad and mum adopt him and sorts... my dad mum second brother and me cannot click with him... really... pple tink it is no big deal but u try living with him u buay tahan one... both me and second bro have a mole behind our ears... only he doesnt have... we love playin basketball and he doesnt lik... maybe he really is not my mum's true son... haha... hope tis is really de case... always quarrel non stop one... if quarrel one time can earn 10 bucks he would be a millionaire... haha... me typin non stop... stoppin here...

2006-03-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

haha... the photo is my niece... damn cute sia...i love her...---->
damn tired sia... today work for 8 hrs... yesterday slp quite late... anyway, today i called yuna... she told me she goin thailand tml... guess i have to be lonely on fri, sat and sun... haha... i workin anywae... today is ann birthday... but i got work so cannot go... haha... here to wish ann a happy birthday...

btw... good 4 yuna cause she can pon her trainin... to those who is tryin to make her life diffcult: wat done is done, makin pple life difficult is very guo fen... even though she may let u down, but u also have the wrong cursin her and scoldin her fucking bitches sorts... u have ure own opinion... u can go ahead tell pple tat u are the victim of the whole story, tell pple how she mistreat u sorts... i dun believe u have TOTALLY no wrong...

haha... i today then noe tat the jia yan is tianyi's cousin... haha... retarded me... i already been a week tat i quarrel with her... but it seems tat my mood has not been a bit happier... it is still the same... feelin so empty... ARGH!!! i called ting fang and msg her abt want work shihlin anymore ma... but she nvr reply me!!! she MIA already... haha... my stomach is goin to burst soon... too full... me eat the mee sua then mum wan me eat porridge... in the end, i only eat the veggies... heex =)... today saw seok teng and yun hon go datin... wahlow... pang seh ann sia... so lovely dovely... come buy mee sua still nd hold hands... haha... opps! dun suan them anymore... lata seok teng beat me become flat flat... havin so many freedom now... i lik the feelin...

2006-03-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

haha... first time posting... actuali wanna call aili to help me out... decided to do it myself... juz went and catch a movie 'my girl& i'... damm nice sia... so touchin tat i cried lik mad... haha... suddenly wanna have a blog... so tat i can scold all the pple i wanna scold... in tis way i will feel better... havin drastic changes in my life... can't seem to breath... no matter wad happen... i can only rely on myself...

i will let u go... since u dun belong to me anymore... i dun wanna harp on you and look lik a complete idiot... tis is the time i will let u go... is the time where we are complete stranger to each other... time pass... both of us grow and change in some way... i tink tat i am standin in between u two... and i am tired of a friendship tat doesnt belong to me anymore... i always tink tat tis kind of friendship may be good... coz if stay together too often might cause us to quarrel even more... but i was wrong, damm wrong...

i have already lost the part and parcel of my life... the old u... the u tat put me in the centre of ure heart... i cant deny it... we are not tat close anymore... in fact, i tink tat we are juz frend... not even buddies... i deleted photos of u and me... remove photos of u and me in my wallet... u cant deny it... u treat her more important than me... to pple who see these will tink tat wats the big deal... but i am the one been through... the things tat u used to do made me so sad... but even u also dunno... i am so hurt by u... dun wish to tink abt u... but i kept tinkin abt u... you are gone now... no one can enter my heart anymore...

=memories gone 4ever=

`~i can't seem to breath~`

stupidhead... i will let u go... i have already lost u...

**purple tears of the girl**~

purple tears of the girl~